| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: my ex bf dumped me 3 months ago. for 2 months ive been begging asking him to come back, promising him i'll change. i'll stop being demanding and controlling if he comes back.(reasons he dumpd me). but slowly ive moved on. btw im 17 he's 18.this month ive stopped chasing him, now he's begging to get back with me. i still love him but i told him NO i dont want him anymore, because i just didnt want to feel the stress, insecurities and uncertainties that might come with the relationship. i fear that he might leave me again in the future, then ive wasted the best years of my life. now he's chasing asking us to get back together, promising to do everything to keep me and saying leaving me was a big mistake. i love him but i dont want to be with him AS OF NOW. so i said no. now i fear he might be gone forever and i might lose my best chance at love. we had such a great relationshp for a year before he left, so i fear that i might regret it and maybe i should get back with him. but my mind tells me no, i cried, almost killed myself when he left me. i dont want that to happen again, and its time to take care of myself and love myself more than anyone else. im confused!
View related questions:
get back together Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2  + ♥, writes (12 November 2006):
 Great advice below, if you read your post again yourself you will see that you are very conflicted and contradict yourself, don't want to waste the best years of your life by taking him back, but you fear he will be gone forever and you have missed your best chance of love.
Know this, there are many possible soul mates out there for you, you will never miss your best chance for love, as really being in love is largely about being that right person yourself, and loving someone to the degree that you care about thier happiness really more than you do about your own....relationships work best when both people are in a position to take care of each others emotional needs and be friends first....
You and your ex are very young and the timing is not right for such a serious relationship, let him go and have no contact with him so that you can heal your heart and move on with your life as you have your whole life ahead of you, my dear.
A
female
reader, marie78 +, writes (11 November 2006):
Given what you said, I would advise you to seek the help of a therapist, because you might have larger issues to tackle (such as feelings of rejection, loneliness, and feeling abandoned... )you might want to talk through these feelings with a seasoned professional. In doing this, you'll be able to handle the trials and issues that come along with a relationship. Also, I would advise you to take things slowly with your ex or any man, for that matter, so you don't fall in love too quickly. Make sure you lay the ground work first, by becoming friends, before you become intimate with a man. That way, if things don't work out, you can remain friends instead of losing control over your emotions.
...............................
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (11 November 2006):
Well done you on recognising a relationship that wasn't working. That is very hard and it's so tempting to stay in the comfort zone. Sometimes two people get on but it just doesn't fit, no matter how they try. I suspect you two are like this. Getting back together won't change the basic differences that give you problems; after the initial "we're back!" glow wears off, things are just the same as before. You are doing the right thing, keep doing it. Good luck.
...............................
|
