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Husband still in contact with "friend" he cheated with against my wishes!

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 October 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 27 October 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

he cheated with a new "friend" who he kept hidden from me. now that all has been found out he lies to me still about talking to her and uses excuses to keep in contact with her now its her parent is ill and he feels bad for her so they email each other against my wishes i know they talk on the phone too but he denys that, he trys to hide it but i know the truth i can tell when he is lying to me.

he says he will stop contact with her but hasnt snd proberly wont. he asked me if he can still talk to her and keep contact with her cause of her parent being sick i said no im not comfortable with that he says he wont but deep down in side i know he will

im hurt and torn of what to do im at an age where life shouldnt be so full of drama.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010):

give him an ultimatum: either YOU or HER

your hb is blatantly disrespecting you. he is rubbing his affair on your face. he is TELLING you that no matter what you do or say he will not give up his lover.

ill parents or dead parents - this should mean nothing to him.

YOU contact her and tell her to get the hell ou of your marriage

if you are not forceful and abrupt you will end up divorced and miserable and without any support. get rid of the problem now and oh, sort the cheating hb out.

also broaden your network, make new friends and get a life. your hb already has one without you , so show him that you too can have fun WITHOUT HIM. i am not telling you to be irresponsible and cheat but just to give your life value and basically take back your power.

your hb is not going to change and well, you need to live your life.

LoveGirl

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010):

This is totaly unacceptable behaviour from your husband,its obvious why he still wants to be in contact with her,as the other aunt said time you spoke to her and find out the truth once you have it then you will know what to do for the best

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010):

He's still "involved", which is not the place to be when you are trying to reconcile with your spouse.

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (25 October 2010):

This is completely unacceptable. Useing her sick parent as an excuse to keep in contact with her. If a male friend of his had an ill parent would he be in contact so much. No. Its all an excuse. I think its time to make him choose, you or her. The only problem is he is a right little liar and will just continue to treat you like your a stupid idiot. I think its time to seriously put your foot down and put him in his place. Maybe a trip to see her and find out what is REALLY going on. Mostly likely alot more than you realise. You sound like a really nice person and you deserve better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010):

you should not stay with someone who continues to lie to you. he went against your wishes and lied to your face. how can you trust someone like that?

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