A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:For the past few weeks, me and my husband's sex life used to be very good, but now it's gone from red-hot to zero-passion.My husband doesn't seem to show any interest in sex with me any more - I even wore sexy lingerie one night to try and get him into bed but he just showed no interest, and went to sleep as soon as he got to bed!He's also recently been emailing pictures of himself topless and in his underwear to his mate Tony and spends hours on the phone to him (I know this because when I checked our email to see if my ebay bid had been won, I got a message from someone called Tony saying "Thank you for the photos of yourself in your underwear, dude. Will send you some, and a picture of my cock too!". Our email address is a shared one, so that's the only reason I know why!).I have attempted discussing the issue with my husband, but he says that sexy lingerie is OK if I want to wear it, but no turn-on for him. I asked him why he was emailing photos, and he said it was none of my business. I asked him to explain, but he still wouldn't relent, and said that I shouldn't even have known in the first place, and that he would continue!He also said he's not sexually attracted to/interested in other guys or bisexual, but isn't his behaviour contradictory with that?Otherwise, our relationship is OK, it's the sex life issue that's causing me upset, as he used to be so loving - he still is loving, but in other ways, it's just I miss the sexual closeness as well as the emotional.Please help me.. I need help badly.Hayleyxx
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male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (9 March 2009):
YES it is your business. You are his wife, he is your husband, he isn't having sex with you, and e-mailing photos of himself to someone else! It couldn't be any more your business!If he really won't discuss it then you might just have to be a bit of a snoop and see if anything else reveals itself. Maybe he is bisexual or gay, even though he denies it. He may even think that he isn't bisexual or gay, but that doesn't mean he's not.
A
male
reader, FroggieGman  +, writes (8 March 2009):
Sorry you're wasting your sexauality and your time. Your husband is obviously gay. Time to break it off and move on. You sound like an intelligent woman. You don't need to waste your love, affection, and sexuality on nothing, and I'm afraid tha's what you have left in your relationship, nothing.
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A
female
reader, triedit  +, writes (8 March 2009):
 Honey there is no reason a man would send photos of his private parts to another man other than something sexual. They may not be able to admit it yet, but there's attraction there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): so talk to him and ask him again - point out if you emailed pictures of yourself he would not be happy. Ask him why its a secret and that its wrong (the secrecy) and hurting you.
Hugs Star.x.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): Girl, I hate to say this, but, it sounds like your husband is gay or bi.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): It doesn't appear to be anything sexual judging by the email I read.
The rest of the content appears pretty mundane, to say the least - not one bit seems sexual - aside from the attached photos.
As for threesomes, neither of us like them, so that one's out. We've discussed it in the past and that's that.
Hayley
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A
female
reader, triedit +, writes (8 March 2009):
Hayley he is either lying to you or lying to himself. There's a sexual thing happening between him and this man and it likely is the cause of your loss of sex. Give this some real thought. Likely this is a fantasy he will never actually do, but would it be an issue if he did have a thing with a man? What would happen if you were to accept this and ask only that he share with you as well? Would you be willing to try a threesome?We can't change our sexuality. Likely he's got some fears about this as well. But if you love each other you will find a way to make this work. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual.
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