A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am married. 9 years ago I've found out that a gay has been messaging my husband with i love u's.. I thought it had stopped. and recently I found a message with a greeting of "more boys for you".. Is my husband a gay?What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (4 May 2009):
 I am venturing a guess that he might very well be gay, and just very closeted about it. It could also be that he just was out testing the waters, got in over his head, and panicked when things went further than he wanted.
Please go to marriage counseling. He has some deep seeded issues that he needs to sort out before he runs the risk of hurting you more.
I personally don't know what your views on gay and lesbian relationships are, but I would hope that no matter the outcome, you stay beside his as a friend and supporter. Maybe he was looking for something new to get his kicks, maybe he really is gay, maybe this was a person he just chatted up online who never got the hint that nothing was ever going to or supposed to happen. Who knows, but I suggest seeking therapy to help guide you two through this trying experience.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Thanks Gina and Jessica..
I have accidentally snoop that's why I got the messages. He had been going out with the gay before I found out. all I thought it was a guy. the first message was heard and the recent one was read .. We had talked a couple of times but the answer didn't seem to be logical for me. He told me that it's a one way but receiving a greeting such as"Happy Birthday! More to come sis and more boys for you" after 9 yrs isn't really normal.. there might be something from it.
I have asked for his password on retrieving the new phone number of gay to prove his innocence but he resisted and instead have changed his phone number.
I am confused!
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (4 May 2009):
You should talk to your husband. These men got his number somehow.
Not to scare you, but it is not uncommon for gays or lesbians to enter a heterosexual relationship. Sometimes this is because they don't realize they are gay (if they marry young) or this is because of religious reasons. I personally know several Mormons who are currently unhappily married because they are gay buy still consider it a sin, so they have stayed in their marriages, hoping magically one day to not be gay.
Who knows what the situation is with your husband, only he can tell you. None of us can because we aren't in his head, and we don't know these guys.
I can only speculate and venture a guess that either your husband is gay, or is being harassed by these guys. Honestly, If he is receiving sexual texts, it can only be assumed that he is sending them as well. I don't condone snooping, but have you checked his outgoing texts? Or the phone bill?
Talk to him. That is the only way you will get this resolved and find your answers.
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