A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've Been married 34 year and I thought happily, but 10 yr ago I caught my husband out and he was having sex and texting my best now X best freind. Now I have just caught him on a adult freind finder web site and has crossed phone numbers and is denying it. He just keeps lying saying he's not cheating not met up with her, it's a porn site and we have a car so he can go of anytime and meet this person.i said I was leaving him to sell the house because I can never trust him again. He hasn't said sorry he says I just have to trust him he's deleted her number and the website, how can I ever trust him again please help I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): Why would you stay with a man like that???
I don't care if you have been married 70 years!!!!
He does NOT love you!
What kind of self respecting woman stays with a man who does not love her? And cheats on her?
Your marriage is not a life sentence. Nobody has ordered you to do hard time here. It doesn't matter how many years have gone by. You are able to actually set yourself free anytime.
I hate when people think that they are trapped in a marriage just because they have been married forever. NOT TRUE! Get out! Being alone is better than living with a cheater who disrespects you and your marriage.
Sorry but he doesn't love anybody but himself.
And for the record, he isn't sorry. Just sorry you caught him.
He will NOT CHANGE. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
It is up to you to make the changes. NOT HIM.
I think you can do better. Many men and women meet new partners later in life. What about all those who are widowed? And more people than you know are dissolving long term marriages. There is a lot of opportunity out there.
JUST LEAVE.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2015): My neighbor's husband of over 40 years cheated on her for many years and she stuck around almost the whole time. Well until his mistress came to the house and said that he never loved her and then he moved out and never came back. I think that you should leave before something like this happens. I see no reason for you to get taken advantage of.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2015): Get a lover.Tell him he's free to have his, but then you have yours.After such a long marriage,I don't know if/how you'll make other arrangements.I mean, yes, you can separate, but then WHAT? You'll just end up in the same situation that I described above-he with someone else and you with someone else.Do whatever you want, the outcome seems already to have been set in stone, whether you stay or you leave...You might at least try and have some fun.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 March 2015):
 No, you do not HAVE to trust him.
The fact that he first lies and then claims he will delete the number, means he got caught.
You two have been together a LONG time, so I think YOU need to decide what YOU want to do. DO you really want to divorce and sell the house? Or was that a empty threat because you are just so fed up?
Have you asked him how he would FEEL if YOU were doing what he did? Because I think the man needs some perspective here.
Yes, he can delete her number (she can still call him though, can't she?) and there are PLENTY of other websites out there catering to men/women who wants to cheat. So while he might STOP using this one, who is to say he won't use another and be "better" at hiding it from you?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 March 2015):
 you said you were leaving him. why not do that?
since you said you were leaving and he didn't stop and you didn't leave.. you have no choice but to leave.
you can't make a threat and not do it and expect them to stop doing the behavior you want them to stop.
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