A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Turning 50 is not fun. My loving wife after 25 years of marriage tells me time has been kind to me and she still calls me sexy. I adore her. She is as lovely as the day I first saw her.I have always been somewhat shy. I never considered myself to be hunkish or even somewhat cute, however, my 16 yr old daughters friends tell her I am "hot". Whatever that may imply... my ego sure gets a kick from it but everytime i listen to that lunatic I find nothing but trouble.One morning a new face appeared on the job. Big beautiful brown eyes full of life, long silky dark hair and a smile so warm it could melt the polar ice caps. I am petrified. I managed a half fumbled, schoolboy on a first dade, 'hi'. She smiles, giggles a little and responds with a voice reserved for angels, 'Hello, I'm M...'. My mind is in shock. How am i going to talk to her? What could we possibly have in common. As the days pass we do talk, conversation comes easy, natural and she is soooo intelligent, Elegant full of grace and charm. I cannot help myself... I have fallen in love. M... is 22. I am older than her father, yet she has secured a place in my heart for all time. Not a 'leave the wife and run off with a young girl' lust, but rather an admiration. I could never do anything to bring pain to my wife. No, this is not some kind of stupid lustfull, midlife crisis crap. I don't look at M... with lust. It felt great to talk to her. Being around her warms my spirit. I love her. I'm sure of it. I know love. I am surrounded by it. We are made of it. She is young and looking for love. I simply adore her. M.... has given me 'signs' that she likes me. I have caught her on more than one occasion 'checking me out.' Once I turned to ask a question and watched in disbelief as her eyes were slowly walking up my torso to meet my eyes staring back at her. For what seemed like an eternity we stood there gazing. Her cheeks became flush and she just kinda smiled and let out a breathy giggle. Nothing more was said about the incident. Left me pondering what in the world she sees in an old man like me. She started doing these innocent little stretches when noone but me was around to see. She would raise her arms above her head and stretch her petite body just far enough to reveal her tummy. I have also noticed when a cute guy gets near she will play with hair. Quite often she does this when I enter the room. OK, so she likes to tease. It makes me unconfortable sometimes but I guess she wants to be wanted. I can understand that. Yea... she has caught me checking her out also. Sorry, i'm 50, not dead.Monday morning. I am eager for her bright eyes and warm smile, but not today, she does not come in towork. Oh well, I tell myself, maybe she is not feeling well, there is the next day. Alas that is not to be. A week passes and there is no sign of her. my mind is frantic. is she alright? Has something happened to her, oh dear lord, please no.She has quit... gone... no goodbye... just gone. I am utterly heartbroken. Why? How could I allow myself to get so attached to this girl. I struggle to hold back the tears. Why!?! What the hell is wrong with me? Have I let my lunatic ego take control? Do I actually love this little girl or is it just a infatuation? I have had infatuations before. They do not hurt like this. Lust does not hurt like this. I have no fantasies about this girl. I did have a dream about two weeks after she started work. She was laying beside me cuddled in my arms sound asleep as a thunderstorm rumbled outside. I was awoken by a very close lightning strike. The next day she told me of a dream she had that night, a thunderstorm, lightning chasing her, of someone suddenly pulling her inside just as a bolt of lightning struck very close. Then she woke. I never told her about my dream. Coincidence or not. Poetic.Sometimes people just click?Wherever you are I pray you find that special one.Have I taken this overboard?Is it possible to love someone like this or am I just a foolish old man?Thanks for letting me get this off my mind, it helped.
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (17 October 2014):
 That made for a very enjoyable read. Thank you!
As for the matter itself, you had a massive crush on an attractive lady. That's all it was.
It's not very sensible to be fantasising like that when you're already married to someone else though.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 October 2014):
 I just want to add that if you think turning 50 is no fun...try turning 60 Buddy. Jeeze Louise, when that happens to you, you'll be callin' everyone "M" cause you can't remember their names, you'll never be awaken by a lightening strike cause you can't hear the damn things, and the only heart break you worry about is the kind that put you 6 feet under. But on the upside, you don't have to be concerned about a Mid-life crisis cause you are WAY past that point.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 October 2014):
 Probably it's just the lowered levels of bioavalable testosterone in your blood. Andropause ,basically. Approx. 30% of andropausic males manifest symptoms like mood swings, ( despondency / euphoria cycles ), slightly obsessive ideation, pensive/ introspective mood, bland depression, irritability and hyperreactivity to common events... and a whole host of behaviours and moods which mimic another biochemically altered state : that of being in love:).
At least, I hope for you it's that , otherwise, to borrow my 13 y.o. niece favourite ,colourful expression : eeewww, GACK !
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 October 2014):
 I enjoyed reading WhenCowsAttack's post, it was amusing and made a great point. Here's a post I found that may give you food for thought: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-a-crush-destroyed-my-marriage.html
I wonder if you need to have your hormone levels checked. Sometimes the estrogen spikes up in men around your age.... I wonder if this accounts for the gooey feelings of lurve you are experiencing?
You have a crush. Lots of people have crushes. It's common and normal. Your wife has probably had some crushes as well. It doesn't mean that you are with the wrong person. It just means you are still alive. I think the mistake would be making more of it than it really is. Blowing it up into a fairy tale, a fantasy, could be detrimental to your marriage because your real life wife can't compete with the made up fantasy figure of perfection you've concocted here.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (17 October 2014):
Oh, dear, the melodrama. I feel that I shall swoon. M'lord, methinks the young lass didst avail you with her siren charms to feed her own ego, which doth run deep as the deepest river, much like her limpid eyes.
Yea, though she placed the curse of love uponst thy tormented and noble heart, had she truly cared she wouldst have also placed the curse of her telephone number against thine self. Alas, the young maiden just enjoyed the attention.
Squire, it is time to step out of this fairy tale amongst which thou has placed thineself. Hop aboard thy shiny steed, don thine armor, and ride with confidence into the sunset with thine own lady of class and beauty, for assuredly she does fear the loss of thine affections.
In other words, snap out of it, Bub. She wasn't that into you. For the sake of your marriage forget about her and focus on your wife.
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