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Hubby is spending our savings. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of?

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Question - (27 August 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2007)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

Ihave had a row with my husband over work and moey and am beginning to despair.Ihave taken early retirement after being ill and off work for over a year and recieve a pension which at a push just about covers our basic expenses.

About six months ago my hubby went on antidepressants and eventually gave his job up and has been on job seekers allowance which adds £57 to the weekly budget.

He has now stopped the tablets and I assumed he would be keen to work again but he seems a bit reluctant. Last night we had a row when he accused me of controlling all the money. I admit to that as i am worried as we have already spent about £5k of our savings in 4 months subsidising the extras we need. Also I am now feeling resentful as my retirement is turning in to a stressful exercise in budgeting where I am trying to keep everything together and I feel as if im being taken advantage of. What should I do?

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A female reader, Midge United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2007):

Midge agony auntActually I can sympathise with you. My father has recently gone on pension and my mum is still working, but due to her health I am not sure whether she will be able to keep that up for much longer.

My mum is a spendaholic and will spend every penny in the account, whilst my dad worries himself sick. He has actually taken up part time work to try and let them make ends meet! He is 65 and still doing a heavy job as a mechanic, so you can imagine that I am not happy with that, considering the state of his health. He is diabetic, has high blood pressure, requires both knees, both hips and both shoulders to be replaced, and he is still working his socks off to cover debt.

However, my dad has taken stock of matters and now gets me to look after their finances. I have a book-keeping company and give them a weekly allowance. If they spend more than their allowance, then that cuts into the following weeks allowance. Similarly, I am fortunate that if they are short, which happens often, I help them out and give them enough to keep them going.

You need to speak to your husband and perhaps go and see someone at citizens advice. Make sure he goes with you! Let him see the state of your finances! They will be able to assist you in a good budgeting plan so that you have sufficient money to make ends meet, and to be able to live comfortably as possible!

Make sure you do this, and make sure he goes with you!!

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