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How will I ever get a boyfriend with my shyness and home situation?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm a shy 17 year old girl and I have never had a boyfriend. Over the past year, I have gained a little bit of confidence and have started talking to boys more.

I like this guy at college but i know that if we ever spoke I would get all nervous and make an idiot of myself, however without sounding shallow I couldn't date someone I wasn't attracted too - How will I ever get a boyfriend?

I feel like i am ready for one, however I wouldn't be able to fit them into my lifestyle as I care for my mum and that literally takes over my life.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated?

View related questions: confidence, never had a boyfriend, shy

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A female reader, malvern United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2013):

malvern agony auntWhen I was your age I was equally as shy as you and thought that everybody else was so confident. As I got older I realised that actually a lot of boys are not as confident as I thought they were and were going through the same awkward feelings just as much as me. A lot of boys put on a kind of bravado act to cover up for this. The next time a boy talks to you try to remember that it's probably just as difficult for him as well. You won't 'make an idiot' of yourself. By the way - none of us want to date anybody we're not attracted to, so you're not being 'shallow'. Good luck.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2013):

k_c100 agony auntYou sound like a lovely girl, and you are doing a wonderful thing caring for your mum : )

Good people like you do get boyfriends, ok so it might not be right now if you are still building your confidence but one day you will meet someone, I promise. You are still very young so there is still plenty of time for boys, dont worry about that - you are not going to be alone forever.

Do you get some time off or help with caring for your mum? There are loads of charities set up specifically to help teenage carers like you to give you some time off so you can do all the things that teenagers do. Some good websites to start with are:

http://www.carers.org/

http://www.youngcarers.net/

http://www.barnardos.org.uk/what_we_do/our_projects/young_carers.htm

If your mum has a nurse or support worker that visits your house then speak to them as well and see if they know of any local charities that can help you.

As for the boys - try smiling at the boy you like, or adding him on Facebook. That's a good start without having to talk to him face to face. And dont worry about your home situation, if the boy is a nice person he will respect what you do for your mum and will be understanding that you wont have loads of time to spend with him.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, baby234 United States +, writes (28 February 2013):

baby234 agony aunti get you because i am that way to just start at stage one and become friends with the guy and when you start feeling comfortable around him then i would take it to stage 2 and start dating him and try to go day by day without being shy you know

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