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How to stop being envious of other girls?

Tagged as: Big Questions, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

There's this girl who my ex boyfriend used to date and at the time I was dating him. I was so jealous of her because she was PERFECT. People always say no ones perfect but she is. Every guy wants her and everyone thinks she's beautiful. She's a model also. People have told me I was Beautiful also, some people said I was ugly to upset me...But I'm just jealous of her because she's Perfect. She could Dance, Act and model and she's super smart. My boyfriend and I broke up but I'm still envious of his ex girlfriend. I'm not afraid hes gonna get back with her because I'm over HIM. I'm just jealous of how perfect she is. I can't find anything thats not perfect about her and it makes me sick. How to stop being envious of her? I don't like being jealous of someone at all. It makes me a little depressed.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

I think we all know how that feels. Thing is though, it's not about her, this is about YOU. Maybe she is perfect. So what? She's not you, nor can she be everyone else either. It's not like she is a perfection of YOU, she is herself. And you are you. She can never be like you, just like you can never be like her. When you accept that, perfect people will not bother you. Everyone can be perfect, but you choose whether or not you will get affected by that.

It makes you depressed to be jealous you said. I personally believe, from my own experience, that its the other way around. I only get jealous of others when I am depressed. Depression, or feeling down, comes first, then comes all the negative thoughts.

So if you dont like feeling jealous, look at yourself first, not the girl to find imperfections. Look for the perfections of yourself instead! See how great you are, just being you. Get confident that you can bring what no one else can (and believe me, everyone is different in this world so there ARE things only you can bring). And then you will stop caring about others. Learn to accept that others can be beautiful, or perfect, without that making you worth less. Its not a game where one girl scores 80% meaning you only get 20%. She can be 100% perfect like you said, and you can still be 80% if you like, or 100% once you get confident enough.

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A female reader, purpleprincess United Kingdom +, writes (8 February 2010):

Get over her honey no ones perfect. So she looks physicaly pleasing dances acts sings but can she cook? Does she have a nice personality? Us women have got to stick together I think and she will have same insecuritys about herself. We all have insecuritys. I'm thinking that you need to value yourself to. You shud think ofyourself as perfect hun. Wot are your atributes? Your great to arnt ya ? That's wots important. And the best thing is you can keep bettering yourself. Set your goals and reach them. Be proud of your achievements. Your atributes. Nothing else matters. Good look hun x

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