A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am an 18 year old girl who has never had a boyfirned. Not really even much of a relationship with any guy. All of my friends have had multiple boyfriends and also are not virgins. For the last two guys I've talked to I liked a lot. Things were very good with them, although nothing physical happened. But as time went on they both STOPPEd talking to me completely. Both are now in realationships now with other girls. But what I think and know the problem was was that I didnt really "flirt" or show my intrest? I liked them a lot but I feel like I didnt and still don't know how to advance in a realtionship? ?I? don;t know if that makes any sense but after recenlty see the one guy go into a reltionship Ive realized my actions were not good enough? They clearly liked me in the beggining. But I dont have the confidence to furhter things with guys part of this is my fear of rejection and commitment? maybe? my question is how do i stop this? i dont want to be single forver?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Pretty simple really, traditionally speaking- the girl shows a guy interest and gives him the green light that its o.k. for him to approach without getting rejected. Then the guy approaches. If you aren't giving a guy enough green lights, then he may not feel comfortable enough to approach. Though some guys just NEVER approach, so don't be afraid to seek a shy guy out and make the first move.
Flirting is pretty easy... smile lots, lots of eye contact, focusing on them when in a group of people, laugh at his jokes even if they aren't all that funny, find excuses to touch him (for example when talking, just a touch on the arm, or a playful punch). Basically any playful physical touching that isn't necessary- is a pretty good sign of interest.
In my honest opinion though, the clearest way to show interest without everyone necessarily seeing is to check him out. I was never good at picking up on whether or not a girl liked me but this one blew me away and its so simple... Just make eye contact with him when you aren't too far away- lets say 5 meters or so... then once you've got his gaze, slowly look down his body to his toes and then slowly back up again and make eye contact again. The slower you look, the more obvious it is, but 2-3 seconds is still pretty obvious- enough to at least get a guy thinking that you're interested in him.
Good luck :)
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