A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I think I been having the same recurring problem in my life...I get too attached too early, then when that special someone goes away for one reason or another, I feel like I have a hole in my heart. I can't stop thinking about her for a while, and it drives me nuts. Is there anyway to "harden" my heart-that is, not fall into someone so quickly? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dinosaurexx +, writes (3 November 2008):
 im a woman and i have the same problems.. i fall for guys WAY to easy.. and most of the time it ends up badly.. and i feel bad because once i went out with a guy i liked, then i met someone else i also liked..
its tough :( just try to make sure you know exactly why you like that person..
A
male
reader, ipirate  +, writes (24 October 2008):
Look I feel the same way as u do, in my experience when women do their tricks and leave, is because they are not into life the same way men are. They tend to make choices for their SECURITY FIRST, and there is nothing u can do about it in order to stop it. Women do choose to maybe sleep with other men even if she loves you, she may want to have sex with another man, because when a woman feel attraction for a man, there is NOTHING she can do in order to stop it, it is beyond her reach to make it go away. So usually as they will publicly deny the affair, they have it anyway. LOVE IS NOT POSSESSIVE, love cannot be owned. Love is who you are, and when u get that, then does not matter who is she with, or if she chooses to leave. Women do feel suffocated with a Man that is too clingy too fast. They do not want to be Mother to her Mate, so a Needy attitude doesnt do the trick for them. I have acted needy without knowing it and it is very frustrating when women chooses other men or chooses to leave just because she does not feel the attraction any more. I am frustrated because I can´t get the woman I want, I usually settle with the few that chooses me, and I do not know how to make it happen yet. I know a little, I have gotten better in understanding what is going on, but still I am by no means a teacher on how to MAKE IT and KEEP HER INTERESTED. So you are not alone. I bet there is a large community of men that do feel the same way. We think... if we love them cause we give them so much, they choose to leave with the wrong man, that one that treat her with little respect and challenges her... THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT, a man that challenges her. I still do not know exactly how to come about to be that man. I am too good to everyone around me, and always like now responding your circumstance... I know the facts... but do not know how to practice it for better results on my life. Brother... it is indeed frustrating, but there is not much we can do about it, other than be content with yourself ALONE, and then bust on her a little.
Women are wierd... I have this good friend she is really great looking, and when I tell her she is cute she doesnt like it, but when I tell her she is horrible she even smiles...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): hello. i understand your problem and sympathise with your sitiuation as recently i have been thinking the same thing. but honestly there is no way to harden your heart, i just think the more you experience your heart dosent exactly harden it just learns to mend quicker. i think some people just get attached more than others. fact. and i think thats the hardest thing to do.as for the hole in your heart, im hoping you wont feel that way for long. and when u meet the person your meant to be with u wont feel that because they wont leave. you cant stop yourself feeling things, and falling for someone, maybe the next person you so will be worth it and you will be happy you did fall quickly as they will feel the same. hope this helps. good luck with things.x
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