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How to get over him?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ive been hanging out with a guy who has a gf. Nothing happens between us except for a couple dry humps and kisses.. Recently, he told me that he was trying to replace his gf with me and that I was a not so far replica of her. He then stated that his gf was a real woman... pause.. How I was immature, perfectionist, passive aggressive disorder suffer (whatever that is) but thats because we got into a fight because I told him I wanted a fair shot at being his gf or one and only. He doesn't ask me for sex. What does he mean by all of this ??How do I get over him?? Please help me...!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you one and all. I am so ready to purge myself of him

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A female reader, Runaway Girl United Kingdom +, writes (16 December 2014):

He wont leave her, he is making you feel as though you have to change to qualify as his girlfriend. If he thought anything of you he would have fallen in love or liked the person you currently are.

By telling you all this he is buying time because you will wait around and pick up the scraps.

He is a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater. if you got with him you would drive yourself insane wondering what he was up to.

Just imagine how hurt she will be and he will replace her with you thus creating a vacancy for the position you are currently holding and then a whole circle will be created by you being the hurt one but you had no shame when it was you and him hurting her.

So like everyone else I suggest you go no contact with him, don't put yourself into a situation where he will be.

Print off the answers on this forum and place each answer on different walls you see all the time. This will remind you of the end goal.

Its Christmas time go out and grab some parties have some fun. Someone will find you fantastic company and like you as you are and he will be the one who wont give you scraps.

Good luck x

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 December 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou get over him by going NO contact with him.

block his phone number

block his facebook account and any other social media you could see him on.

DO NOT have any contact with him outside of your own brain.

You won't forget this fast but you will forget it with time.

give yourself time to mourn what you were hoping to have with this guy.

and eventually it will not bother you but it may take several months of NC... and ANY contact you have with him outside of your own brain will make it harder.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 December 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIt means that he thinks he can treat you like dirt, because you are willing to get into situations with HIM that you really should stay away from.

A guy with a GF is a no-no. Don'[t go chasing guys like that, it's (not quite) as bad as chasing a married man (but close).

Ignore him, block him, let him go.

He isn't such a good catch anyways, I mean LOOK at how he TREATS his GF? You don't think he would do something similar if he was dating you? (kissing and "dryhumping") another girl? If you think he would do that to you, you are fooling yourself.

Accept that you are WASTING your time on this DUD.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2014):

You get over him by realising that he's not worth the heartache that you're felling. He's using you to massage his pathetic ego. If he's treating his girlfriend like that, how do you think he'd treat you if you were in a relationship with him? He sounds like an utter waste of space. Do you think so little of yourself that you're willing to keep him in your life?

He doesn't give two hoots about you or your feelings. More than likely he has a few women on the go. Those types of "men" usually do. Tell him it's over and if he tries to weasel his way out of it don't fall for it. You deserve better than to be used.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2014):

He's just stringing you along. He'll leave his perfect girlfriend for you IF you can transform into all the things you are not. It's like telling a cripple, "I'll date you if you can stop being a cripple." Or telling a tall person, "I'll go out with you if you can shrink your spine."

He's putting conditions on you that he knows you can't meet. So that he can have you like a hamster running on a wheel. It's a way to keep you around at his leisure without obligation.

To get over him, just keep reminding yourself what a jerk he is. At the same time surround yourself with other guys who treat you with dignity. That'll get your self esteem back up.

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