| A
female
age
30-35,
hushhush
writes: Dear there, I find it hard to get over the break-up. I'm 33, and 13 years older than bf, we were on and off for 1 year.We both see it's unrealistic, and he began to break up on the mid way and we went to opened relationship for 2 months, then he broke up again from open relationship to 'close friends'to clear him self up taht I should be prepared if he has a gf later. Then we stayed still together behaving still as couples for another 2 months.we both promised wont have sexuall contact with others unless its offical relationship. We slept together more since the first break-up.This week he officially broke up again with me,one week ago, he met a 18 year old for 3 times, he said she was nothing to him compare his feelings which in his words 80% to me, but he needed to end with me for saving the future pain. that was the cause.2 days ago,he saw me went online at 1am and asked if I went for a date, I told him 'he doesn't need to know', he asked why, I said 'it's my privacy and has nothing to do with him'. He stopped asking.Today, I called and he said he finished with 18 year coz not his type, he met this new mixed-blood 16 year old, who's modelling around the country.I have changed my number in case he calls and I would feel hesitant to pick up, but after 2 days, I began to call him without showing my caller ID, he hung up on me 3 times and replied to my questions with 'it's his privacy and I don't need to know' when I asked or talked about things don't interest him, mostly about the girls info or I wanted to see him (I know I behave stupid), He told me he doesn't want me to call him for weeks from now or see me. He has not much feelings left for me.I'm happy to see him behaving so cold, which helps me to get over him, but I lose control also wanting to call him. I don't know what I can do to get on with my life. please give me some advice. Thanks a lot !
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female
reader, hushhush +, writes (17 February 2008):
hushhush is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help ! now i managed to cut contact with him,and he is behaving weird.
he bought me a golden ring before and i returned to him while we had early breakup.he wants to give it to me now and insists to give me in person while i told him just drop in my postbox or my room when im not home.coz he still has my keys just in case. he said he wont lose the ring in postbox and its not something he can just drop in there and wait for others to pick up.
i find him checking on my profile from time to time on a dating site i am in.he began to ask for the pics we took togher last month on a trip.which he never asked for 2nd look after our trip.
last night, i bumped into him on the late train after half month we didnt meet, we sit opposite and he asked where i went; also complained i didnt send him the trip pics of me; he touches my finger tips with my gloves on; he admited he went through my dating site profile and said the mean who were flirting wiht me are urgly,and they only want sex from me; i told him not all like that, some are nice and i already met them without sex yet. he said will u ? i said i wait and see how it develops, he asked ah..same like how u developed with me? but he didnt say it loud out to make a point. then we went apart after the train.
my head is now messed up again and i wish i didnt meet him.i feel so close to call him again and i know i should not.its so hard ..i cant stop checking if he has viewed my site again or a msg left by him, thats such a torcher.
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (9 February 2008):
 It just takes time and you haven't allowed yourself enough of it. He is clearly mixed up about your relationship and is not ready to settle down. He's flitting from one woman to the next, going younger and younger. What's next, a 12-year old. I know it's hard, but don't call him anymore. Take up a new hobby. Enroll in some classes. Fill up your schedule with plenty of things to do and pretty soon you won't miss him so much. Pretty soon you'll meet a real man who knows what the hell he wants and not just a little boy who still wants to play with little girls.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 February 2008):
 The old pass away and the new will come . In the meantime , enjoy your single status before you enter the next bird cage.
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