A
male
age
51-59,
*heated
writes:hello all, i have been married for 11yrs and we have 5 children together. we had a bad split up but are back together now. my wife did play around while we were apart. since then to me sex just hasn't been the say(in my mind i wonder if she did it the same way with them.) any suggestions on what i can try with my wife to add abit of spice or excitment back into our marriage. basically sex is a get on hump away finish and get off. it isn't that boring but close.any tricks, tips you have tried and want to share.also she isn't that big on foreplay, how do i change that?????cheers
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): foreplay is not just the one leading to sex straight away. maybe i am wrong but what about keeping the excitement right through the day, culminating into sex when you get home.
by this i mean, sexy talks over the phone, dirty sms, sexy underwear , maybe naughty emails. some porn. anything and everything to set the mood. comments about how good she look and vice versa. both of you need to make an effort and both need to be equally committed to this. also try telling her that you are not happy in the bedroom, that you need to spice things up. start opening up to her but please remember you both have to try.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): I've been married for 13 1/2 years and sex has certainly gotten a little boring at times. It seems you fall into routines in love-making just like every other aspect of life.Anyway, the only advice I can give you is this, foreplay starts when you get up in the morning and ends when it ends. Foreplay isn't sex. It's making a woman feel like a woman, not just a mom, short-order cook, driver, etc. I went to a seminar many years ago on a topic I don't even remember. The only thing I took away from it is this, a woman needs to be touched, in a non-sexual manner, 10-12 times a day. I know, for myself, when my husband gives me a quick hug, a peck on the cheek, rubs my back as he walks by I feel closer to him. This feeling of closeness often leads to an increased interest in love-making. I'm not saying its going to work every day or even right away, but it may help.Sex and foreplay are strongly interwoven with emotions. I know, for me, to feel sexy in the bedroom, I also need to feel sexy in the kitchen.I hope this may help you.
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