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How to deal with an unfriendly co-worker?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hey guys just a quick one

Ok I recently started a new job

Everyone seems really nice but there's a guy and I've detected it after just 3 weeks there

I've tried to be friendly and chat but he always a bit sharp

I know he's busy in the morning but if I ever try and initiate a chat he talks but brief yet if someone else walks by its hello mate etc

I know you think I'm paranoid and the easy answer is ignore but I don't want one person causing me grief after a few weeks

Not sure why he's like this and certainly not gonna confront

Need your experts advice x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Omg lol thanks guys

No def wrong end of stick here

Def do not fancy him no way

It was just a general question regarding why he was off with me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015):

This reminds me so much of when I also started a new job, there was this one guy who would not even acknowledge I was there, sometimes would even be mean, was the office charm to everyone else but me. He was in my age range, I was 26, he was 29. He was/is very attractive. Long story short, I did confront him about it. It was when he was showing me how to do something at work, and I just said "why are you always so serious with me and different with everyone else, you won't even acknowledge my presence?" He said it was because he did not know me well yet, etc. We are coworkers for three years now, secretly hooking up on and off. I don't know, there is something fun and exciting about being together the night before and acting completely chipper the next day at work in front of other coworkers. In my case, I did have a crush on him.. not sure if it is your case. If you are not interested like that in him, then respectfully approach him, I don't think he would mind then.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2015):

You aren't in high school and you can't make everybody like you. Some people just don't take to new people very quickly, and some just don't like change. You're young, you're fresh; and your unrelenting bubbliness just may be more than he can stand in the morning.

Attribute most of this to the fact he's a grouch in the morning. Also consider that you may have replaced someone he may have liked. You're young and vibrant and friendly, some people just prefer old-timed stiffness; and hate being forced to be pleasant and cordial.

Time to be an adult and overlook thinks like that. You were hired to do your job, and you aren't being voted Ms. Congeniality. Smile and walk by him. If he's not your boss, what do you care anyway?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Er no not hitting on him and certainly not interested

I just notice I've tried to make polite small talk and he's quite nonchalant but with everyone else best buddies

I just don't want any bad feeling I don't even know the bloke !

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDon't try to hard to chat. Busy or not.. you are BOTH there to work, not have exciting conversations.

Just go back to being polite and professional.

Could also be that he thinks you are hitting on him or interested in him and he is trying to show you he isn't interested by his actions instead of telling you.

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