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How to be happy without drugs...

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Question - (18 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *weetnsour027 writes:

So I have dabbled in to just about every drug in my past. Only a few have stuck with me and those are marijuana and pain killers. I also drink on occasion. Anywho I recently quit the drugs and just drink on occasion. Since I have quit I feel like I have no life or personality.

Also since I cut back on alchohol I feel like I'm a boring person to others. When my friends and I go out they drink much more than I. While they are socializing, dancing and having fun I just feel lifeless and boring. I can't socialize well without alcohol and feel like people don't enjoy my presense unless I am on it.

On the other hand when I am alone at home I don't know how to occupy my time. I get very bored and feel like I should be out doing something. To be short, I feel like a 'loser'. In the past I would just do drugs and it would make the time go by with little ease. It was fun and now I'm not having fun at all.

All in all I will be taking a job soon which requires regular drug testing, AKA I can never do drugs again. I am finding it hard to cope with and asking myself, how is it humanly possible to not ever get high here and there. i know plenty of people who don't and I can not comprehend how they do it and still enjoy life.

How can I enjoy life, love myself, occupy my time, and be a fun person to be around, without drugs and alcohol?

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A female reader, EbonyBlossom United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2010):

EbonyBlossom agony auntFirstly, nice one for getting clean! It's not easy so big well done =D

Secondly, as for the whole being 'boring' thing, this is because you fell into the drugs trap. Before, drugs were your life, and there was nothing outside of that. Now that you don't have that, your life feels empty, and you have nothing to talk about, and no friends with a keen interest in the same things as you.

You kind of answered you question by the whole 'staying at home being bored' thing. I'm totally clean and I get bored when I'm at home! Start some kind of club, could be sport, music, dance, art, photography, birdwatching, anything! Go to gigs and stuff. It will give you fun things to do, a chance to meet people, and stuff to talk about with these people! Treat yourself and go clothes shopping, find a new style! Do something daring and get a tattoo or a piercing or something!

Once you start your new job, that will also occupy a lot of your time. You may well be grateful for a few nights in on your own to catch up on sleep. Find things to entertain you at home by building up a book or DVD collection. When you're at work, you'll make friends with colleagues, and have work issues to talk about it.

It all starts with stepping out of the front door and exploring the world around you =]

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A female reader, johannabanana United States +, writes (18 July 2010):

johannabanana agony auntDear Friend,

You are not alone in the world and I know there are other people that feel the same way you do. The best way to deal with a situation like this is to join a support group. I know you most likely think I am being cliche in saying this but being around people that are struggle the same way you are should help to bring you peace of mind. Also building friendships with people that want to steer clean will be good for you. If you have to be on drugs just to keep your friends around then they don't give a flip about you and it's time to chose people that will be supportive. You are not a loser. Say that over and over again because it is true. You are an amazing person because you took a challenge in stopping. Only people that are weak give in to their impulses of the past. Whenever you hear yourself saying one more time, repeat this; I am not a loser. I am not a loser. That is all drugs will make you. Say it over and ever out loud even scream it if you have to. Crank up some music or the radio to even distract you.... I would also recommend preoccupying your time and avoiding dull time on your hands with nothing to do. Do volunteer work on your spare time. Get a dog so you have an animal to take care of. Also people from your support group probably know what it's like to feel alone. Invite them over when your having trouble staying straight. You are not alone in your fight against drugs or in the world. Feel free to shoot me an email if you ever need someone to talk with.

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