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How the way he kisses you says more than you Know

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (17 August 2009) 7 Comments - (Newest, 16 September 2009)
A male United States age 51-59, Anonymousmale1 writes:

Most people say that there are no true aphrodisiacs other then human scent. You know the smell of a male or female and the effect that it has on one another. I disagree, I think that the one true aphrodisiac in the world is a kiss. Not the peck that you plant on the check of your friend or family member, but the deep intense kiss that you receive from a man of interest.

You know the one I am talking about. The kiss that makes you weak in the knees and slightly moist in the region slightly above them. The type of kiss that makes you feel as though the room is spinning and you have butterflies in your stomach just thinking about it. The type of kiss that makes you blush just thinking about it now.

How many women of you have had this type of kiss and although it was a first or second date, because of it's intensity lead you to go further than you had planned. Many women have been fooled by a long facial embrace and mistook it for what what it could lead up to and not what it actually was, passion. If the passion and the chemistry are just right anything can happen. How do you think women end up in one night stands?

Since I brought up the topic of "One night Stands", let me take this moment to explain something from a mans prospective on this phenomenon. One night stands usually become that because one party believes that the intensity and passion can never be re-created and therefore there is no reason to try. The mood, feelings, emotions were as such that to try to make anything out of it would be foolish. Not! I sounded like a man huh? Trying to rationalize why men take advantage of women. Sorry about that, I'll try to stay on point from now on.

The kiss, women love it. Men do as well, however they tend to down play it to maintain their masculinity. Very few men run back to their friends and boast about how good a kisser you are. Sorry. However, women do and men know it. Therefore to get you into the mood and into bed we put a whole lot of effort into that first kiss when the time comes.

As men we know that if done properly, you'll melt and we can have our way. If not right now, very, very soon. If we fail to bed you at this time, we simply want you to walk away with that feeling in your stomach that you've just been kissed for real. No pressing of lips or that cheek thing that we all do to relatives and close friends, but seriously, deeply and intimately kissed that will have us on your minds all day and night, and conjures up images of things we will do to you in the near future. Our goal as men is for you to walk away thinking that you've just had "your last first kiss!" That's how good we want it to be.

Kissing like this is personal, deeply personal. Why do you think that as a rule Prostitutes refuse to kiss clients? For this very reason, if done properly she wouldn't make much money for one. She'd possibly feel that she had feelings for her customer and therefore become uncomfortable with charging him for making love to her. That, and the fact that pimps make it a rule that they are never to kiss any client on the lips. Remember "Pretty Woman?" Julia Roberts roommate chastised her for kissing Richard Gere, stating, "Didn't I teach you anything?"

Do you remember the first kiss with the one you are with now? I know that you do. Now my next question is when is the last time he kissed you like that?

Men don't remember kisses, I am sorry to say. After awhile we tend to kiss you like that only when it leads to making love. This is sad, because if as men we remembered that the way we kissed you in the beginning continued long after we captured your heart we would never ever have to worry about you becoming content. We would never have to worry about any other man taking our place. We would never ever have to worry about our relationships period!

I've been married for quite some time now and I make it a habit of kissing my wife like the first time at a minimal of once a week. Why? Most men would ask. Because I need for her to understand that I still desire her after all these years. I don't do it for the sex, although it helps sometimes, but I do it because I want to be the one on her mind. I purposely do it sometimes before she leaves for work, because I want her to think about me all day. I do it before I leave for work at times because once again, I want her to think about me all damn day. I want her to know that the passion and fire that ignited with our very first kiss years ago is still burning hot years later and I desire her just as much today as I did then and more. Why you may ask? Because if you really want to keep someone forever you have to show how you feel about them, each and every day. Nothing shows how much you care as a real, deep, meaningful kiss to say, "I still love you and only you!"

Now, for each and everyone of you that have a man, ask yourself this question? When was the last time he kissed you and really meant it? When was the last time that he kissed you and you said "WOW"? When was the last time he kissed you and it made you want to stay home from work just to spend the day with him? If that time was too long for you to remember, it's time for you to remind him. Let him know what he is missing and how the lack of this passion is possibly wrecking your relationship. Because if the passion that started the fire is not there anymore, then you're only in the relationship because you're content or comfortable and possibly both.

Women need passion, it's what makes them beautiful. They glow when there is passion in their lives and you are no different. Make him assist you in rekindling that passion and make you feel desired because you deserve it. All women deserve it and you my beautiful one are no different.

If for whatever reason he simply will not conform to you suggestion, politely explain the obvious to him. Every women is delighted to know that for every women that is married, or in a relationship there is a good man that wishes she weren't! He'll get the hint and hopefully the passion will return. For your sake I hope it does, you deserve it so much, to feel like everyday is the first day of your relationship. To be desired by the man you love and who loves you and expresses it in his kiss, like the very first kiss you two ever shared.

Now I must leave you, my wife will be home shortly and I need to remind her just how important she is to me and how much I love her still to this day. And you know what? I'll be doing it with a kiss, the exact same type of kiss that made her mine years ago before children and a mortgage and car payments and work and everything that we men use as excuses for not doing our job as men. Because in the end, that one slow, long passionate kiss makes everything we've been through worth it. She doesn't know I know this, but I do. Hopefully your man does too. If not he's depriving not only you but himself as well.

See you soon,

Anonymousmale1

View related questions: kisser, kissing, money, one night stand, period, prostitute, roommate

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A male reader, Anonymousmale1 United States +, writes (16 September 2009):

Anonymousmale1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Anonymousmale1 agony auntHi GoGreen126,

I am glad to hear that you liked the article. I understand that you are a teenager and as adults we tend to forget that we too were once young as well.

We forget what it felt like to be consumed by love and passion and tend to downplay your feelings as being infatuation. This is not fair to you because when we were your age we were really in love, why should it be any different for you.

Yes, you may lack the wordly knowldge that adults posess, however hearts don't take that into account when they beat faster for another heart, because love is love. Age, race, gender, it doesn't matter love doesn't discriminate.

We tell you it's infatuation to mask our youthful failures. Because we were unable to sustain love when we were your age, we relable it as adults to infatuation for you.

It is indeed love if you feel this way, let no one tell you different. It is also fantastic, even if it doesn't last because it prepares you for future relationships.

It is said that it is "Better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all" don't you think that's true?

Now, as for getting over the love you lost? Time and friends heal broken hearts, thats the best recipe I know of. Do things that will keep your mind occupied and away from the thoughts of what was or could have been.

Before you know it, it'll be forgotten and you'll be a better person for it because I am sure you learned so much from it.

Oneday soon, you will meet another guy and he will be just as great as the last one. However, I caution you not to seek a replacement for your ex, because it's not fair to the next guy. You should never compare relationships, because each has it's own uniqueness in our lives and heart.

So take some time and have fun with your friends and remember this, "Don't cry because it over, smile because it happened" ~ Dr Suess

Sincerely,

Anonymousmale1

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A female reader, GoGreen126 United States +, writes (12 September 2009):

Wow. Your article made me cry! I don't know anything about love. I'm a teenager and I've been in 5 real relationships in 3 years. 1 of them, however, I'm head over heels for. He's my best friend. We broke up 4 months ago. We were together for 4.5 months. In that time, every few weeks, he'd kiss me the way you described. Our first kiss wasn't quite what I had predicted, because I had no idea that I could ever want to be with a person that much. That's lust--I know that. As many times as I've been told I don't know what I'm talking about and I'm just an infatuated teenager, I really think I do love him. I've BEEN an infatuated teenager with other guys, but this is something else entirely.

When I think back to our last kiss, the day it seemed that he really wanted me, I immediately begin to cry at the memory. In part because of the loss of someone I care so much about, but mostly on how perfect things were between us then. I will NEVER forget it, although in time, I'm sure i'll get over it.

I tell you all this simply out of the hope that maybe you could help me overcome it, gain it with someone else if there were anything I could do, or maybe even get him back (but I know the last is nearly impossible and I should try to get over that desire)?

Thank you

-GG

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009):

Hi

Thank You. Great answer! Also, I have decided that I will not demand much from him, as he feels pressurized. I get that his life is hectic, and there are just too many commitments on his time... yet he manages to make some time for me. I think I was being surly on having to be the only loving one... and that was putting way too much pressure on him. Now, I have decided that I will just back off and relax. And enjoy whatever little time we have. I was only driving him away, and hating myself besides!!!

So, now I am going to accept him the way he is and give it a shot. SO, what do think of my POA? And, please, any more tips on how I can make the time we have together (a few hrs every Saturday) extra special?

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A male reader, Anonymousmale1 United States +, writes (31 August 2009):

Anonymousmale1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Anonymousmale1 agony auntHi Clariss,

I am glad that you liked the article. As for your current situation you may want to gently remind him that regardless of the amounts of money he makes, he'll never be able to buy back the amount of time that he is losing being away from you so much.

I can understand being ambitious, believe me, however I soon discovered that wealth measured in currency is fools gold. Real wealth is having a wife, kids, family and friends whom love you. "Who being loved is poor?"~Oscar Wilde

In the mean time however, you may want to try sending him a nice card and write in it exactly how you feel. Sometimes as men we tend to think everything is alright because women keep silent. Let him know how much you love him and how much you miss being in his arms.

He'll get the message, I am sure he is a very smart man and simply needs a little nudge to get back to where you two were in the beginning.

Before I go, I would like to commend the two of you on waiting until you are married before engaging in sex. I find it refreshing to know that there are still women who save themselves for their husband, and men whom are willing to wait for them.

I wish you and he the best in your future together.

Sincerely,

Anonymousmale1

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

Hey

Wow!!!

What a truly thoughtful answer!! Also, I am a sucker for men who absolutely love their wives!! SO, grt going!

My boyfriend and I have been having relationship woes for two months now! He cites his busy schedule, while i feel as if i have been left on a limb! Alone to fend for myself.

Yes, that weak in the knees kiss happened the very first time we kissed. There was so much passion in it, that even today it makes me go weak, just thinking about it!!

However, how do I get to remind him of that?? Earlier, we used to spend hours just holding each other and smooching... Now, even if he remembers to put his arm aroudn my shoulder I feel as if I should be on my knees with gratitude.

I clearly need to tell him that, and I have tried it, even gone so far as to ask, "when was the last time you kissed me?" And he kissed me immediately after, but without investing as much effort or time. I want our relationship to get as passionate as it was... I know he loves me because, he says so and he makes the time for me, because we have discussed marriage and after one year of being together, we still haven't had sex, because we have decided to wait until marriage!!

He runs three firms, so obviously he is a very busy man, and we get to be together only once a week... and even then i miss our earlier chemistry so bad...that our present seems very boring!!! Needless to say, we both return to our respective homes unsatisfied. I feel that all this is ruing our relationship and that these factors are not really all that important... I feel as if we are falling apart... and I don't want that... also, I am naturally more expressive than my man, so he doesn't much communicate... and he isn't very romantic either...it doesn't much matter... but I miss being in his arms and I miss the feel of his kisses... very much... what should I do??

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A male reader, Anonymousmale1 United States +, writes (19 August 2009):

Anonymousmale1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Anonymousmale1 agony auntHi Rosy,

To answer your question a kiss such as the one described in the article shouldn't be done to elicit sex. When a relationship first begins we share those types of kisses while standing at the front door when dropping you off after the movies. Or between classes in school (if possible). It's a first stage of love kiss and it should never ever go away from any relationship, because if it does it's a clear sign that the relationship is dying or has died.

Men and boys kiss women like this all the time especially in the phase before they have even shared a sexual moment, it's a true sign of love. If it can be done then without the expectation of sexual gratification then it should be done now if he loves you.

As for why I stay and what my wife did to make me stay? The most important thing she did was allow me to be me. She's never tried to change me and accepted me for whom I am, a flawed man (as all of us are)who does the best he can. She is above petty jealousy, arguments, complaining and games.

I was lucky to find her and I knew even then that without her I would be half the person I am today. She means that much to me and more.

You can never make a man stay, he has to want to because we cannot make anyone love us. It's called free will, all you can do is control the love you have for him and hope that is enough.

Sincerely,

Anonymousmale1

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A female reader, Rosy United Kingdom +, writes (19 August 2009):

good article but how do u make a man stay rather then push for sex? U gave her that special kiss to make her want you but what did she do to make u stay and for for her the way you do?

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