A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm I'm love with my cousin we have been dating for almost 4 years and our family doesn't have any clue . All our friend know we are dating but don't have any idea we are cousins. I am 21 years and hr is about to be 31. This year has been the hardest he got a letter from the army and was deployed he will be coming next year when his years are over . I really love him and this distance has made mme realize I'm in love with him . How should I tell my parents when he comes back and i move with him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): I love my cousin very much but we always knew that the path will lead to no where..I still love her so much. she is with another man and I am still mourning.. I was prepared to do anything but she wasnt that strong. so please be prepare for storm of families.. and ya go with him if u really love him..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): You should also see a geneticist to check for any genome abnormalities or recessive diseases because my mother married her cousin (1st marriage) and so my half brother and sister dealt with some developmental issues. Now that they have school age kids themselves, their own children also have issues. Meanwhile, my children do not. Therefore, my mom have some gene that causes delays and procreating with her first cousin brought them out in their children and grandchildren. Please think about this wisely. Also how long have you known each other and to what extent did you have contact? Personally I hav cousins I've only met once so that's very different from the ones that lived in the next town over. I'm asking because of the age difference too. Is it possible he's been waiting for you to become an adult to get with you? That would make it weird.
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A
male
reader, GabeP +, writes (4 July 2010):
Separating my own feelings about kissing cousins from this situation, MarriedLady is absolutely right: you need a game plan. Not just as to how you're going to tell them, but why you think it's OK to do what you're doing. Their response (as you well know) will be "sick! Why would you boink your cousin?" You might think that question is unreasonable, but it is what will be asked and you'll need to be able to answer it if you've got a desire to have a relationship with your family.
So to me the answer comes down to your own feelings. Are you really willing to go through with this? If so, why? If it's just that you think it's a stupid social taboo, then that's fine, but make sure you explain how you feel and be charitable to the dominant point of view. Whatever you do, don't end up saying "whatever, Mom, I'm gonna do what I want" or "you're always trying to control me!" If you don't want your parents to think you're a degenerate, you absolutely cannot make them think you're just dating your cousin to rebel. Make sure they know you have real feelings for real reasons that aren't about them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): number one: how close of cousins are you?
number two: what are the laws in your state?
i married a cousin, our grandmothers were first cousins. so we werent that close and our families were fine with it. i did have one old biddy aunt who made some rude comments....but that didnt faze us. we have been happy for almost 28 years with 7 beautiful children.
i have a friend who married her first cousin. Although i know they got all kinds of flack, they did get married in the state of Oklahome. Im not sure if thats where their liscense came from, but thats where they are from. their parents agreed, on the stipulation that there be no children. they agreed, and they are still married 29 years later. i always thought it weird because their daddys were brothers and therefore she didnt even change her name.
Before you tell your family, you need to be armed with information, and have a game plan. there will be those who are supportive, and those who arent. you will just have to buckle down and say it. if you cant, write them a letter. but somehow you have to find a way to go public. i do truly wish you the best. you will find that even on here, this is a touchy subject...but follow your heart. mal
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