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How should I tell my mother that I want to track down my father?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 June 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 June 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Im 13 and want to find my dad but i feel uncomfortable telling my mum. All i know is his last name,how do i find him?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (15 June 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntRather than "go in" believing that you want to find your Father..... how about making an opening with your Mother... and ASK HER about him..... See where that leads you.....

If - and only if - she says, "He's the gravest rat in the world, so you don't want to know anything about him..." THEN you can take off on your own on this quest....

You Mother may have more to say than you know or expect...

Good luck...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2014):

Having a first and last name are just not enough. Just as Honeypie says, you are old enough to ask your mother.

If she is withholding this information, you must ask her why; so she can explain. She may be protecting you, and you really should give her the chance to tell you what you need to know.

Some bad things may have happened, or she may have things she has been waiting to tell you. So she is where you should be going for the information.

Going behind her back should be your last resort; if she is just not telling you. Your grand-parents also know things; but if they will not tell you, they are respecting your mother's wishes. As you should be doing, at only 13.

There are adult things involved, that could be very traumatic for you at your age. So be very careful doing things without an adult around to protect you.

You have every right to know. If she continues to refuse, just let her know that you're not going to give up; until you find out.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYou should still tell her.

Last name (unless it is VERY uncommon) isn't enough to go on.

I think it's only natural for YOU to be curious about your biological dad and I think you are old enough to ask and get an answer.

So in short, talk to your mom. She may not be keen on it, but I think you have the right to know who he is.

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