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How should I proceed without scaring her away?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 March 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2016)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've seemingly had feelings for my best friend since I met her when classes started in August. I say seemingly because I'm not sure if it was always feelings, or just the thrill of a meeting a new friend-my first college friend at that. We hung out quite a bit and I introduced her to my old friend groups that I used to see all the time. She fit in perfectly, we hit it off, then I got into a relationship with a guy a from my class. During that time I still texted her and we still hung out, just not as often, only a couple times spontaneously whenever we happened to take the same train home. Nonetheless we really grew closer as friends and I can honestly say that I love her as a friend in the same way I love my friends from my old friend group. Some of which knew me since I was 6.

Almost 2 weeks ago my aforementioned relationship ended. A few days ago, my best friend invited me over for movies and pizza and we ended up making out and cuddling until 1 in the morning when I went home. It was wonderful, but I've never done anything like that with someone I wasn't in a fully committed relationship with. She kept asking "what is this? What are we?" To which I had no response. We agreed not to label it and I have to wonder, now what?

It was an amazing night and I definitely want to see her again. I have very little experience with this type of deal and I have no idea how to keep things moving forward. I also realize it's literally been just a few days and I don't wanna scare her away by being too insistent.

How should I proceed?

View related questions: best friend, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (21 March 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI think you need to both take it slow. You need to really think about what it is you want from her. Because you need to be honest with her. She might like you more than you realize so you don't want to end up hurting her. Take her out for a drink and ask her what she wants? and if you both want the same things then take it slowly and see what happens.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2016):

How long were you in your relationship before it ended? You have to be careful of not sending a message your rebounding or anything.

Just text her. Arrange to go for a drink or something? You won't scare her away by making an effort to see her, trust me.

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