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How should I handle my jailed ex who's written to me out of the blue?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 July 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My ex boyfriend - who was always in and out of trouble with the law has just written to me out of the blue - from jail. I used to be madly in love with him - only to find out that he only ever wanted me for handouts and money.

Anyway, to cut a long story short - I decided cut contact with him years ago and we just drifted apart and went our separate ways...until now.

Now - out of the blue - he decides to write to me again saying he will be out and free to meet up soon - if I want to continue where we left off!!! (which I certainly don't want).

To be honest - I can't believe he has the cheek to get in touch after he was so blatantly using me before for money and I would write and tell him this only it would probably encourage him to contact me again.

I'm hoping that if I just ignore him - he may move on - as he isn't dangerous or anything - just gets into trouble over petty things. Also he doesn't live in my area anymore - so it's unlikely he would turn up - as it would mean him having to find his train/plane fare - which he would be too poor to do.

So if you have been in a similar position - do you think ignoring him is the best option here and what would I do if he keeps trying to get in touch?

View related questions: money, move on

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntThat is a tough one.

Because on one hand it would be EASIER to ignore him and hope he takes the hint..

BUT if he thinks he still have a chance to manipulate you I can see him find a way to get TO you and just show up on your door-steep and that.. might be a scarier situation. And If he is even in the SLIGHTEST likely to show up.... I'd rather send him a letter back, saying I got you letter and I have absolutely no interest in rekindling anything with you - wish you well, but do NOT contact me ever again.

Option #1 is easier and if he does contact you again, you can ignore some more... since he isn't dangerous, that solution might work better for you.

Option #2 might make him think that even If you say STAY AWAY he might think he got the foot in the door.

YOU do not owe him a letter or anything. If ignoring you works for you, go for it. Don't make too much effort on this.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (2 July 2015):

mystiquek agony auntSometimes we just have to leave people where they belong..in the past. I'd say your ex is one of those people. Just ignore his email or letter like you never read it. IF he should be cheeky enough to try you again, block him, change your email, phone number if necessary. Most people do get the hint if you don't respond back. They may try once or twice after, but eventually the realize you aren't going to respond and give up.

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