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How sexy should I encourage my wife to dress for Halloween?

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Question - (21 October 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 22 October 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

OK, so we are going to a Halloween party. Same party we went to last year. Last year there were a few (like 3) fairly sexy costumes. Needless to say, these women got a lot of attention, and I am sure were the topic of conversation among many couples as they went home (probably a few fantasies during sex as well). My wife asked me what I thought, and I was honest: I told her I thought the women looked hot and very sexy. Now, I am not the type to flirt with women other than my wife, and I was not buzzing around these girls or leering at them. But I am honest when asked a question, and I told my wife they looked incredible, and I would love it if she dressed like that.

Now, as we get ready for this year's party, my wife is tossing around some pretty racy outfits. They all show lots and lots of cleavage, a couple would show her panty bum a bit as well. Personally, I love it. Women's bodies are beautiful, and I love to see them. Also, although it sounds a little pervy to write this, I also get off a bit on knowing other men (and women) can't help but look at my wife, and maybe even see a bit too much, or (gulp) think about her later when doing their thing. OK, I said it. Sounds a little weird.

My question is that my wife is probably going to take a risk here, wear a very sexy outfit, largely cause she knows I will like it. I am worried about the reaction of the other guests - particularly the women. They are neighbors and friends we obviously will see many times again. I think my wife is beautiful, but she is not perfect, nor as young as most of the girls "showing their stuff.". So I am a little worried how she might be perceived, whether she will regret this, whether she will resent me for it.

So women, how harsh are you on other women who might do this? Do you judge them? Does the level of your criticism rise depending upon how "perfect" their body is? Do you look down on a woman who would do this? Shun them later? Talk shit about them? FYI there will be no kids at this party, and I have no worries that my wife might be cheating or flirting too much with other guys. It just seems like the one time a year women can really go extra sexy in public and get away with it - or can they?

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (22 October 2011):

natasia agony auntWe would say 'omigod did you SEE what she was wearing? I don't think I'd want to be flaunting myself if I looked like that ...'.

Sorry, but that's the truth. And yes, we would think different of her after. The cleavage isn't so bad - that would be fine - but the lower body stuff ... not a good idea. Even if she had a perfect body, we would still comment. Our general feeling would be that she was slutty and ill advised. And we would not like our guys looking at her.

So ... I say encourage cleavage, and tell her how beautifully slim she looks in a LONG black skirt ...

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A female reader, charliesdevil73 United States +, writes (22 October 2011):

charliesdevil73 agony auntI would agree with Tisha. I think women over 30ish get looked at in a negative way if they try to dress too sexy. And if you are saying that she is in no way perfect, I would assume that means she might look her age. I'm not saying that's bad, but 30's is a difficult age to look sexy but not sluty and desperate. Maybe she could, like Tisha said, show off just one of her features. If she was cleopatra for instance, she could make the top low cut and show some cleavage but make the skirt long. Add a little bling and you have glamorous sexy, which she could probably pull off. There is a lot you can do to look sexy but beautiful and/or glamorous at the same time. Good luck to your wife.

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A female reader, KittieS United Kingdom +, writes (21 October 2011):

KittieS agony auntAgree with Tisha - putting everything on show.... Well it becomes slutty not attractive or sexy and I think most men would agree, that imagination of what's beyond a pair of tight trousers or short skirt is much more tantalising than showing your privates at a party with neighbours.

Maybe men showing appreciation of your wife and thinking your a lucky man, is sexy.

But is them leering over her in a very obvious fashion what you really want?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (21 October 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWHY don't you just let your wifey select her OWN costume, and stay out of that decision?????

Good luck....

P.S. You COULD suggest that she go as a high-priced hooker - with YOU as her pimp - and you might return home with a tidy sum of $$$$$ in your pocket. Give it a thought!!!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 October 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI couldn't have said it better then Tisha!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 + ?, writes (21 October 2011):

This is easy: the fashionista rule of thumb for ladies of a certain age is pick ONE sexy feature to show off: breasts, backside or legs. All three and you look desperate, even in a Halloween costume. Save the skimpy dress for the beach.

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My personal rule of thumb when it comes to adult Halloween costumes is this.. if it is ADULTS only at the party dressing sexy is just fine, if there are kids around I find it creepy and sleezy (yes, even when it is a woman)

Do I judge a women dressng sexy for Halloween?, not at all it's the PERFECT time to let loose in the costume department as long as said women don't lose her sense of taste and her mind lol Dressing sexy can be done with taste. You don't have to dress like a "porn-star" to have fun at a Halloween party.

However I do CRINGE when I see a mom out trick & treat with her kids and she looks like she should be in a rap video or a porn. I find it.. desperate looking.

Also... there is NOTHING stopping your wife from dressing up as sexy as she wants in your bedroom .

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (21 October 2011):

Tisha-1 agony auntThis is easy: the fashionista rule of thumb for ladies of a certain age is pick ONE sexy feature to show off: breasts, backside or legs. All three and you look desperate, even in a Halloween costume. Save the skimpy dress for the beach.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (21 October 2011):

k_c100 agony auntI would say there is a chance other women will react negatively, after all seeing a woman trying to dress like a single slutty teenager when the reality is she's a married woman isnt a good thing, the phrase mutton dressed as lamb springs to mind.

Going in a slightly sexy outfit is no bad thing, a bit of clevage is absolutely fine. But showing off your bum, boobs, legs....pretty much letting it all hang out is tacky and other women will judge her. They will think she is desperate for attention, that you dont give her enough attention at home so she is dressing like a slut to get attention from other men. Now this isnt the truth, but it is what other women will think. If there are other husbands at the party who end up staring at your wife, the other wives will notice and will be jealous, and that resentment and jealousy will be directed towards your wife. Yes that is wrong, but that is the way women work.

All women judge other women, all the time. And it will be based on what she is wearing and how she looks in that outfit. So if your wife is trying to rival these very younger women in their sexy outfits they may think she is an idiot because her body isnt as good therefore she should dress according for her shape and age, rather than forcing herself into an outfit that doesnt suit her.

I know I personally would look down a little on a woman (of any age) who was in a really sexy outfit with everything hanging out - I would think she has no class, is trashy and is an attention seeker. I think you can be sexy without showing too much skin, and I prefer to be around other women who think the same rather than some tacky woman who wants to be leered at by men all night.

Now I know she is only doing this for you in this situation, but other women at the part wont know that and will think she is doing it off her own back and will therefore judge her without knowing the full story.

So overall, at Halloween yes women can be a bit more sexy than usual and get away with it. But women will still judge, and if she tries too hard to be sexy (i.e. showing her bum, that is just not nice and there is no need) then she probably will have a negative reaction from the other women there.

If these women are friends and neighbours, I would recommend she doesnt dress too sexy and tones it down a bit. By all means, wear something that reveals some clevage and maybe a short skirt, but nothing so short it would reveal her bum or panties, and nothing so low cut there would be chance of nipples being displayed etc.

She will be judged, so for her sake I think you should have a word with her, tell her you love that she wants to dress so sexy for you and you cant wait to see her in her outfit, but you are a bit worried about your friends and how they will judge her, so you would rather she kept the really racy ones for the bedroom and pick an outfit that isnt going to show every bit of her body as you dont want the other women to be jealous!

I hope this helps and good luck!

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