A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How common is it for guys to want to be long term friends with their ex girlfriends? does this happen with alot of people, or do i mostly date guys who want to be platonic bff (best friends forever) after a breakup? not a complaint really, just a question.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Depends on the people involved. Me, I have stayed very close friends with all of my exes. In fact, two of them were groomsmen in my wedding not too long ago, and the rest attended and had a lot of fun. I think it really depends on the people involved and whether or not you can be friends. I'm just the type who stays friends - I don't have enemies and there are very few people who I just don't talk to.
Probably helps that they all think my husband is great (my husband likes them too) and I never slept with any of them. Friendship works for me, but it may not work for others.
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 You can remain friends after the relationship but it requires time, plenty of space and a lot of patience. Initially too many emotions are flying around and one of the two involved is always wanting more out of the friendship. Thus causing an imbalancement and then possibly distroying the friendship forever. But if you go your own separate ways and some day see each other again, if you left each other in kind spirit, accepting it did not work out the way you wanted, then a special bond between you both will exist. If you leave bitterly, then for some, a dark empty place may be left in your heart or soul bound to you forever and you will always seek to fill it in the wrong places.
Every one of my ex girlfriends, I am plutonic friends with. They are very special people who I shared some of the most romantic and intimate moments with in my entire life. Only one I said that I loved her, and im certian I loved the others even if i did'nt say anything to them, And because of that, "love," it deserves to be upheld. I cannot cringe or be disrespectful to a person I once said I loved, it would go againsed what family, brotherhood or mateship is all about. Otherwise love would'nt have any real meaning at all. But back to the real point here:
We do not hang out every day like we used to as lovers but if one is in need of something she knows I will be there for her, and she will be there for me, if i was n need of something. No matter what. We visit each other often ie birthdays, and marriages, and babies etc. To me and my ex relationships, we have a very close unique bond that will last forever. I do not leave them bitterly, sad and lost.
As I said it takes time, space and a lot of patience.
I hope this helps in what you are looking for.
:)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 February 2010):
Some can remain friends. I've always found that it's best not to remain friends. Certainly I'm not friends with any ex's, and it does make everything a lot easier to move on and focus on everything else. I would say it depends on how close you truly are to the other person. If you're very close to a person, chances are you can't really remain friends without one of you still liking each other.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (11 February 2010):
 All my exes want to remain platonic friends with me. One ex came down last night, his girlfriend knows he visits me and she and me are very friendly. She trusts as totally to hang out together, no thought of cheating is ever on her mind. Another ex is coming down in a couple of weeks time, his girlfriend was jealous, told him to stop seeing me.. Bad idea, she is now gone and we are still friends, no body likes ultimatums about who they can like and see.
All the women in my family are like this. Our family get together's are full of ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, the wives and girlfriends of ex-partners. As my uncle said, you loved them enough once upon a time, the fact that your no longer romantic, doesn't mean they need to be your enemy, your just not suited to be together in a partnership. Friendships are too precious to give up.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (11 February 2010):
 I've had two serious relationships, neither ended on good terms, neither are friends now. I have also casually dated one other girl, we ended on good terms and are still friends now, but we never got as far as kissing pre-breakup.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): I think it really depends. I think it is very rare for ex lovers to be friends, that is if they truly had some deep feelings for each other and it didn't work out and feelings were hurt. It is just too hard to be friends because it goes nowhere, the minute one or the other has a new girlfriend or boyfriend, they stop being your friend, maybe see you once a year or something like that.
I think exes that stay friends were never really that serious in each other to begin with, it was mostly a bed buddy at best....but one person always seems to be more serious than the other.
Really, don't bother being friends with an ex if you ever had feelings for him, it is better to put your energy elsewhere into your own life and keeping your heart open to someone new...since the ex is an ex for a reason.
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