A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:At first glance this may seem like many of the other 'internet crush'-related questions, but I promise I actually do have a point, so please bear with me for a moment. I've already seen a lot of the answers to these types of questions so I'd like to start off by saying that my head is pretty tightly screwed on: I'm not a fan of purely online dating and I realise the limitations of not having physical contact with a person. So, here it goes:Two and a half years ago I met a guy on the internet through mutual friends, and we really hit it off. What I mean by this is that I developed a gigantic crush on him. We never did and probably never will meet in person, and like I said I'm pretty grounded, so I knew the possibility of any deeper connection was out of the question. I was in my senior year of high school and life went on pretty much as normal including my love life, so I reckoned it was a pretty benign situation, and there was nothing wrong with knowing that there was one more thing in my life that could always put a smile on my face. I've done quite a bit of study in psychology and so I've attributed this to a fairly strange case of 'limerence', the happy whirlwind you experience when you (I actually cringe while typing this, because as I've said *I KNOW* this isn't the case) "fall in love". In most cases it lasts between 18 months to 3 years.About a year later, I started my first year of college, and fell out of touch with him; whereas at first we'd talk daily, now we were lucky to have a chat once a month, as I was busier and spending much less time online. But I still thought of him often, and knew it was because my "18 months to 3 years" weren't up yet, so I decided to just let it run its course and continue to enjoy the occasional smile it brought me.So that continued for about another 18 months, up until about 6 months ago when all of a sudden we seemed to pick up where we left off for no particular reason at all and resumed chatting daily, often for hours and hours at a time. I won't go into too much detail, except to say that everything seems so much more _intense_ this time around. Every morning when I wake up I get excited at the prospect of checking my email; on the way home from class/work/coffee/wherever I may be, I get excited at the prospect of talking to him and trying to figure out the probability that he'll be online. Et cetera. So I guess this is really my question: Do you think I started my crush all over again? I was completely happy to let the old feelings hang around until they eventually fizzled out... but since it feels so different this time around, do you think it's possible that I've gone through 'limerence' AGAIN and will now have to wait another three years for it to run its course? I'm asking more out of curiosity than anything else; I'm still not worried about it having a negative impact, I have a busy and fulfilling life, including dating. I'm just wondering how long this is going to be "in the background" for.I know that was awfully longwinded, thank you for reading, and thank you especially to anyone who answers3
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female
reader, Plain Jane  +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Gosh I also had almost same situation as yours !!!
We only known each other for 3 months and will be able to meet up after 2009 due to distance problem...I think we should just let the 'limerence' feeling flow and indeed our real life positive feeling may also change....but at times may have doubt too, this is an unavoidable feeling for every woman.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): We all need a bit of attention so what is the harm in this. Also, its nice to have someone you haven't actually met because you can pick out the good bits and not experience the bad! It's a bit like falling for a singer in a band or something.
Just carry on with your life and let this run its course. You can have the best of both worlds. And while you wake up all excited and happy, you will be more attractive to others than if you were down in the dumps!
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 It is in a different league is internet friendships/relationships etc. I have spoken to someone on line for over 10 years now and it is just another aspect of my life and I can relate to y ou how it cheers you up and makes your day. I don't know how it would be if we ever met but he is important to me and I feel I can discuss any topic under the sun with him and he has helped me with many a situation or problem I've had in my life and he has made a difference in my life. I have laughed so much sometimes at the wit he comes out with. I can't see us ever falling out. He is like my soul mate. I cant imagine life without him even tho' we only see each other via web cam and communicate via text. It's not hurting or interefering with my every day living and he enjoys listening to how I live day to day, and I like to know what he's been doing. I dont know if it's the same for you but I hope you can continue to enjoy this new experience which will be the norm in the world anyway in the future the way technology drives us all.
hope this helps.
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