A
female
age
41-50,
*eartbroken29
writes:My boyfriend said he needs time . That he needs to become a better person. We been having problems we been together for almost four years.I texted him after a week of not calling me and he says he loves me and misses me but says staying apart is the best way if we can work out our relationship and miss each other. He told me to focus in the things that are important to me (family and he said especially myself) . He said he needs time but didnt really say how much. Its been three weeks and I he hasnt call me . I dont know what to do. I dont want to call him because then he wont have time to miss me . I very confused and dont know what to do. Please I want advice WHAT SHOULD I do? Should I move on already or how long you think is going to take for him to caLL me?
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female
reader, Heartbroken29 +, writes (11 December 2009):
Heartbroken29 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so it's been more than a month.. and I feel better.. I still miss him sometimes and he misses me too. Now we talk and are friends I guess but NOW i believe time is the only thing that will make anybody feel better. I feel better and I know our relationship wasn't good anymore.. having time for myself has been the best thing for me. Yes there are days when I Still miss him but I feel way better than those two first weeks when I thought I WOULDNT MAKE IT without him. Ladies there is hope so if you're going through a break up right now don't worry it takes time but you'll feel better and happy about your self. trust me I know
A
female
reader, Heartbroken29 +, writes (29 November 2009):
Heartbroken29 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for answering my question and giving me advice. Deep down I'm sure this is over. But it's just so hard to let go. Four years is a lot of time. It's going to take me time to get used to this situation. I know I'm not going to die if he doesnt get back with me, but there are days when I'm very sad and miss him so much.
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A
female
reader, shining_brighteyess +, writes (29 November 2009):
Once it's been a month and a half I would say thats more than enough time for him to "think". Since you two have been together for four years, maybe he is losing feelings in the relationship but is also holding onto the past- maybe that's why he's acting so strange. Has he gone a while without contacting you before? In that case, it could just be him being him. I would say focus on others and yourself, Try as hard as possible not to think about him. I know that's easier said than done, but try your absolute best. If in a month and a half he still hasn't said anything, approach him and ask him what he thinks he wants to do. If he still doesn't know, perhaps you should just end it. You deserve better than someone who is going to make you wait around for their love. If he doesn't know in a month and a half if he loves you or not, then he really just doesn't want to be with you, he just doesn't know how to say it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 I honesty think that you should not wait around for him to decide what he is going to do.
The fact he doesnt want any contact from you is a strong hint that the relationship is probably finished, and all that is left are a few death throws.
I think, from your last sentence, deep down you know its over, move on, its not going to be an instant thing for you, rebuild your life and put this behind you as a bad experience.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, oliviaclairex  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Do what he says and spend time on you and with friends, wait till he calls you, no matter how long it is. if it gets out of order and it takes forever just text him and say you still need to know what's going on etc xxxxx
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