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How long should I wait for the right person before I just accept there's no such thing as a perfect first time?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 August 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *CantThinkOfAScreenName writes:

im 17, i'll be 18 in march and ive just come out of a relationship of 3 months. im also a virgin. i thought my last boyfriend was the right person to lose it to and i told him i was a virgin and that i wanted to lose it to him. he was fine with it ad said he'd make it special for me. but we broke up shortly after. (i now realise he obviously wasn't the right person). ive always wanted to wait for the right person my whole life but recently ive had guys make a big deal out of sex, as if i hadnt had sex was weird and "ive gotta lose it sometime". im personally ready for sex, i just dont have anyone special who loves me to lose it too? what if i dont for another few years. i dont think id want to wait that long, id be ruining loads of future relationships because of the fact i cant have sex willy nilly. please someone tell me what you think of my situation! how long should i wait for the right person before i just accept theres no such thing as a perfect first time? thanks for you time

View related questions: broke up, ready for sex

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (18 August 2011):

person12345 agony auntAny guy who tells you "you gotta lose it sometime" to try to talk you into sex probably isn't the right guy. Trust your gut. It will feel right eventually. You only get one first time. I just "got it over with" and while I don't regret it, I wish I had waited for someone I actually cared about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011):

Wait until you're older. 17 is too young. You don't want to have regrets. There is plenty of time to find someone who really loves you and when you do, hopefully for you, if you're lucky it will last long beyond the sexual experience. Concentrate on other areas of your life for now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011):

I think that you are very clever to want to wait for the right person to lose it with. I am the same age as you and lost my virginity to a lad who I wasn't in a relationship with but who I got on well with. At the time I thought that it was right for me but about a year later I met my current partner who I wish I would have been able to lose it to instead as it wud have ment more to me. Plus it doesn't matter what age you are when you lose your virginity as if someone loves you it will not bother them and they may even be happier because they know that you have not been sleeping around which a lot of people our age do nowadays! Good luck! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011):

you seem to know what you want so don't settle for anything less. it's an important experience for everyone and if you want it to be special, then you should wait until you are in a good realtionship, even if this takes a couple more years (you're still young, so don't panic about being too old at all). The so called 'realtionships' that you may be missing out on shouldn't bother you too much, either the guy will be happy to wait, and if not, then he is clearly just looking for sex. (which can be okay, but obviously is not all that you want from a relationship)

that being said, if maybe you find yourself in a situation where you feel like its the right time for you, even if it's not the perfect person, then don't feel like you have to wait, it's a personal choice and it's completely up to you.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 August 2011):

Trust that your judgement about waiting for the right person is right - take that from someone who probably lost it to the wrong person (a girl who later cheated on me).

It's better to lose it to Mr Right, and that Mr Right is someone who'll give you time to be sure he's Mr Right.

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