| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I m in love with 41 bf, enstranged from his wife. My bf stays with 2 kids, since wife left. I m 41, divorced with 2 kids. He wants 2 get divorced and marry me. We are madly in love for 3 months. I caught him on site dating, which he admitted he has been to before we met and has since left. I love him he is familiar with my kids. But I have not yet met his cause he is still married to their mum. At first I was afraid to let him into my heart. Approximately how long can I reasonably wait for him to get a divorce?
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female
reader, ineedyou  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Hi! You say you guys have been together for a few months. I would say you both should wait a little before jumping into marriage especially since you both have kids- you know it's not just about you and your bf, it's about you, your bf and the kids now. Plus his wife.
And also, I didn't quite understand his being on dating sites, but I would confront him on that as well.
On top of everything, I don't see why he hasn't introduced you to his kids yet- true, he's still married to their mom, but that is just a legal thing and kids do not care about that!
So, you both take your time. Let him take the divorce (there will be some legal papers which require time, any lawyer can tell you how long it's gonna take: in my country legally it's a minimum of 5 years before somebody can remarry).
But, aside from this, what concerns me the most is that you guys take it slow, please and really get to know each other... I mean, three months isn't that long! In the meantime you can be happy and in love even without getting married! Have fun! :)
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 June 2012):
 First he isn't your boyfriend, he's somebody's husband at this point. Has he actually begun the divorce procedure or is he just telling you what he thinks you want to hear? If he has filed then you just wait until it is finalized. What country do you live in and are you familiar with the divorce laws? If he hasn't even begun, then you may be hanging on a string for a very long time, maybe forever.
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A
male
reader, mwarren +, writes (7 June 2012):
 If you are as you say are madly in love with this man, Time will not be an issue. He may have many things he has to work out in his mind before he can move into another marriage and three months is like a second to some
If you truly love him and he truly loves you you will fight thru thick and thin for him...If you are just looking to be married, you will eventually leave and find someone else..The heart and soul has no time limit. When its ready its ready
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