A
female
age
51-59,
*ortified
writes:can anyone out there help me please.how long does it take for a man to come through a midlife crises.and why do they do the hurtful things to their wife and children that they do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, clutchcargo  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Is there an answer to that question? I don't know if it is a one size fits all. Here is my perspective:In my forties I thought I was having a MLC because I bought a sports car and imagined some of the younger women at the tennis club might be attracted to me and I could somehow have a relationship with a woman young enough to be my daughter. Thank goodness I got through that phase it was more like daydreaming than a real crises.Then in my fifties a more a serious strain of the MLC Virus struck. It reminds me of the Billy Crystal line in City Slickers. "you ever realize you are the best you are ever gonna be and it ain't that great?"It gets harder to control your weight, you get tired faster, that bright future with you being the star disintegrates, your wife puts on weight and starts to look old, (not being sexist I don't recognize the guy in the mirror anymore either) and no matter how hard you try nothing seems to succeed.Now that is a midlife crises only it is actually a 2/3 life crises.When dreams of the future burst and one is left contemplating the tiny imprint that was left by them a kind of sadness, loss of joy, emptiness, helpless and hopelessness sets in. When that happens what is the exterior of the man going to be like. If you don't care as much about yourself as before are you going to care about your wife, kids, job, car you drive or anything else as much?Life is so complicated and we have such a short time to figure it out don't we. Just try to be the best wife, mother, friend, cook, pet groomer or whatever endeavors you pursue so you can feel good about yourself, and your exterior might be the bright light in more lives than you can imagine.
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