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How long does it take for a partner to 'find themselves'??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2007)
A male South Africa, anonymous writes:

Hello,

When in a relationship the one half says they need to find themselves, how long does it take , and how do you find yourself?

Do you ever find yourself, then from there find or reconnect with the person that you loved, and the person that you hurt and left hanging by a thread wondering what happened, and full of doubt?

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (4 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntYou take lots of time and lots of space and you learn to enjoy being in your own company. That's usually it.

CD

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey there,

Thanks for your replies, but the thing is, "How do you find yourself?"

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (4 February 2007):

AskEve agony auntLol, I kind of agree with maxsteel. If someone wants to "find themselves" they are usually saying they want to take a break from their relationship to find out who they really are and what they want from life. It could also be a very polite way of saying it's not working and I want to move on.

You don't say how long you and your partner were together, but through having this space, it might let her see just how much she misses you and how good fun you were and how much a part of her life you've become but you DO need to give her the space to "find herself" and not interfere in that. If after say a month, she hasn't made contact with you then I'd say you weren't right for one another and I'd move on love. There's lots of other women out there who can love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Eve

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (4 February 2007):

cd206 agony auntHow long is a piece of string? Your partner just needs some time alone. Give it to them and they will come back to you.

CD

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (4 February 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntFind yourself... its just metaphoric crap for 'need some time alone'

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