A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Do guys expect sex so soon in a relationship? All the boys talk about it, and everyone i know whose had a relationship have done IT relatively quickly. I've always been scared and holding myself back from relationships because i supposed you could say i'm frigid, im fairly comfortable with my body, slightly under weight and a have a bit of a nerdy look, but guys i've dated have said they find me 'sexy', and then i bolt. I can feel comfortable with guys on an emotional level, but as soon as i think about having sex it scares the s*** out of me. I've tried dating older guys cause they're not so... you could say horny as teenage boys, one broke my heart and left me even more scarred, now i've met someone new and i want a relationship with him and want to be really comfortable with him before having sex but that may be a while. So guys, how long in a relationship would you wait to have sex? Has you or your boyfriend/girlfriend been 'frigid'? What did you do?Big thanks in advance.
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male
reader, direwolf  +, writes (13 May 2012):
Ive had sex right off from the start, i have also waited six months or more. I fell its always better to wait for when the girl feels comfortable, it makes the relationship last longer and a better one. Just my opinion though.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 March 2012):
 Some guys might expect sex soon in a relationship but at YOUR age I think it’s a bit premature. Of course you all talk about it… your hormones are raging…. It’s nature’s way to make sure we survive. The problem is that we all mature much later now mentally than we did 200 years ago and there is no need for 16 year olds to be mothers now….
If everyone in a relationship was robbing stores or doing hard drugs would you feel the pressure to do that too??
YOU are not frigid. You are young. You are inexperienced. You are a virgin… YOU are NORMAL.
OLDER men will WANT sex more than younger boys. Younger boys just TALK about it a lot more…
If he really likes you he will wait as long as you need him too…
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A
male
reader, eek +, writes (8 March 2012):
 you sound like a beautiful woman. My advice to you would be dont feel pressured to do anything you dont want to do. Some relationships i have been in we have had sex quite early on but one person i dated we did not have sex for the first 6 months of the relationship. I really liked that person we got on well so i did not mind waiting till she was ready.
If you meet a guy that really likes you/loves you he will not pressure you and will wait till your ready sex is nice but there is a lot more to a relationship than just sex for waiting and getting to know each other your relationship will be stronger.
Hope that helps.
Eek
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2012): Don't worry about how long they expect to wait. Be honest with whomever you date that you want to wait a while, and don't rush things. The right guy will wait a long time for you.
"The right guy" is not just code for "one guy in 1000" it is really the truth. There are a lot more decent teenage guys than most girls think. The problem is that everyone usually focuses on the least-decent guys, especially at your age. Being an immature jerk will get you everything from popularity to notoriety to fun to girls. Being mature as a guy will get you nothing until you are at least in your early 20s. (Some teenage girls say they want a mature guy but a lot fewer of them actually do. Most of them really just want an older guy, mature or not.)
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