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How is this romantic and not creepy?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2013) 9 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2013)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My roommate just got a date with a girl for being a creep and messaging her on facebook when he didn't even know her. He sent a message to her on an account he newly made that said I quote "I don't know you very well but one of my friends knows you and I think you are absolutely gorgeous. You are probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I'm just too girl shy to actually to say anything to someone as beautiful as you but just thought I'd let you know that you are amazing" The girl instead of saying it was creepy or that he was a creeper actually talked back to him and held a conversation that ended with them going on a date 2 weeks later. How the heck is this not viewed as ridiculously creepy? She said it was romantic.

View related questions: facebook, roommate, shy

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013):

I agree with others here - if he is good looking then its romantic, if he isn't physically attractive then it is creepy.

If I had no idea what he looked like, my default would be to find it creepy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013):

Think of it this way: Say 2 women you don't know sent you one facebook message each saying they thought you were the best looking guy they'd ever seen. One woman is ugly, but the other is breathtakingly beautiful. My guess is you would find the ugly one "creepy" and ignore her message, but you'd respond to the beautiful one in an instant. Of course, correct me if I'm wrong, but off hand I don't think I am.

This girl found it "romantic" because she found your roommate attractive. It's really that simple.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 March 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI admit that i would have been intrigued by it and after verifying he was not a stalker creep or other dangerous things I would have probably given him a chance in public.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013):

If the guy comes across as genuinely shy and is willing to disclose his identity to the girl when she asks who he is, he isn't really being a creep.

If the guy is a creep and stalks her in real life and over the internet then hides his identity while telling the girl she is gorgeous, then he is creepy.

Honestly, this really isn't any of your business because you aren't the guy or the girl. You will have a much happier and fulfilling life if you don't worry so much about what other people do. Concern yourself with your own business.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (20 March 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntHonestly this case is rare my man. This guy went beyond normal ass kissing men do. He gave her a very thoughtful yet simple compliment that she found was eye catching.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 March 2013):

Honeypie agony auntShe liked the attention and he tried something "new" and apparently it worked for him.

Personally I don't find it very romantic, but maybe she did.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (20 March 2013):

If he was unattractive (in her eyes) then she might find it slightly creepy.

But it sounds like you have a lot to learn about women if you don't see why this worked.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (20 March 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Eh a little flattery will take you a long way :) . People likes compliments. I bet you do too.

Besides, it all depends from the context and background. If I should receive such a starstruck message ( veeery improbable at my age ,lol- just saying ) my first reaction would probably be of annoyance, yes, - I'd think this is a lame attempt to get into my pants by stroking my ego. A classic. BUT : if something somehow in the message or in the sender's profile would convince me that the guy is sincere, and that he REALLY is girl shy and he REALLY went out of his comfort zone to send me such an effusive message- well, yes, then it's cute and sweet.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (20 March 2013):

llifton agony auntare you jealous? lol.

i mean, it really just depends. she must have found him attractive based on his profile pic, otherwise, she WOULD have blown him off and considered him a creep. so basically, it was because she found him attractive. that's the difference.

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