A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How important is 'the spark' in a relationship?I ask because I've had a few relationships, but only had the spark with 2 guys - one was my first love and the second was another ex. He was no different really from any of my other relationships but with him there was a definite spark - just the mention of his name would give me butterflies and we just clicked from the start. In every other way it was just an average relationship.I'm in a relationship now with someone who is very attractive, has a great job, treats me better than anyone else has before and I know I'm very lucky to have him. I love him dearly and can see a very happy future for us.However, the spark just isn't there. I'm very content and I really do love him dearly, but there is no excitement with him. I'm completely over the other ex and haven't spoken to him for many years, but now and then my mind wanders back to him and I think about the connection we had and desperately wish I had that connection with my current partner.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 November 2014):
 Spark, to me, equals intelligence to hold a witty conversation, ability to tell a good joke (and laugh at mine), and personal charisma. The spark isnt necessary, its just extremely attractive. But it arises not because of compatibility, but of personalities. Some bring out that side of you, where you are "sparkly", and with others you feel calm and at ease. But it doesnt have much to do with compatibility.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2014): If by spark you mean attraction then yes you need it.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (25 November 2014):
 Having the spark is very important. You will be forever longing after it if you stay with you current boyfriend, and that's not fair on you or him.
Let your boyfriend be with someone who finds him exciting by releasing him and yourself.
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A
male
reader, lifesgreat +, writes (25 November 2014):
It is down to the individual I guess.
I don't feel many people do actually think it is important , I myself am still looking for it I have been single for 4 years now and have only met one other person ( since my ex) that gave me that spark but she was in a relationship .
I do try dating here and there but if there is no spark I quickly loose interest.
But if you look at most relationships today it doesn't seem too important to most people
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