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How doI stop myself from kissing my ex?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 October 2015) 7 Answers - (Newest, 3 October 2015)
A female Nigeria age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I find myself kissing my ex whenever we are alone together. I'm not happy with this and really wish to stop it. though I often hesitate to kiss him, but after sometime I feel like kissing him too. We broke up about 4months ago.

Pease what can I do to stop making this happen? Thanks

View related questions: broke up, kissing, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks so much. I would insist we meet up in public places only. I just want us to be friends only. I don't wish that we stop contacting each other at all.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntJust stick to hanging out in public places with him, if you know that will stop you from kissing him.

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A female reader, Tottochan India +, writes (2 October 2015):

Hi there,

I feel that that is really up to you. As janniepeg mentioned, what is it that you want from this relationship? Are you truly over him, and just want to have a platonic friendship? Or is there an undercurrent of other feelings here?

If it is the latter, then it is much better, as Honeypie has suggested many times, to simply cut off contact. There is no reason to be rude to him, but if your paths don't cross then no reason to go out of your way to meet him or talk to him.

It'll be easier to get over someone when they aren't constantly in close physical proximity. Something about the physical closeness jams up the signals in our brains, na? :)

Distance gives clarity.

If you are unable to give a clean break because of all the mutual friends, then if he asks to meet you alone, you can right off say no, you're busy. If it's a get-together with mutual friends where he is invited too, you can simply excuse yourself from attending. It's college, so you will definitely find other friends/people with common interests to hang out with.

Best wishes. Take part in extra-curricular activities, that'll take your mind off these things, and you can get to know other people as well.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks all. Another problem is that he still comes to my place to see me. Should I tell him to stop coming. We also see each other almost 4 times a week because we are in the same uni and also have some mutual friends. It's been a bit hard staying away from him completely.

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A female reader, Tottochan India +, writes (2 October 2015):

Hello,

I can add one thing. If you are alone with him, just remind yourself why the two of you broke up in the first place.

Anyway you felt that the relationship was not working out, so why are you wasting your time on him? This might even be preventing you from moving on and finding someone wonderful for you.

All the best.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (1 October 2015):

janniepeg agony auntMaybe your ex did not want a full on relationship but would be happy to have some occasional sex while you want to get back with him. You both have to be honest about what you want. It would be hard to stay friends if you still have feelings for him. It's best for you to have some distance until you've moved on from him. Your closeness would confuse you, about where you stand with him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDon't be alone with him? Tell him no.?

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