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How does a woman know when she's had an orgasm?

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Question - (23 November 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 November 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How does a female know she has had an orgasm? i know that sounds stupid. but my boyfriend is always telling me that i should just let go and orgasm already or are you going to orgasm soon and i dont really know what it is like i dont know how i would tell? any help

pleasse and thanks

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

This was funny. I can tell you you have not had an orgasm. And when you do, you'll know. Tell your bf to back off a little, most women have difficulties orgasming during intercourse. If he wants yuo to come he needs to lick you and touch you a lot, as well as you before hand already know how to come. In other words: practise on yourself, reach the orgasm, and then tell your bf how to get you there ;)

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (23 November 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntO_o it feels really really good?

The word "explosive" is often used.

More or less, if you have one, you know it. It is like being hit by a bus, hard to describe but when it happens, you know it.

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A male reader, ThaxTruth211 United States +, writes (23 November 2009):

ThaxTruth211 agony auntDevastated2008 explained everything especially well. I would just like to add some more options seeing how i agree, you both might be unexperienced. One position that helped me learn how females obtain orgams and worked almost everytime since is the woman laying on her back with a small pillow under her lower back/rear area and the man on top penetrating and slowly grinding (rubbing his body rather hard) up and down. The angle and hard friction should stimulate more directly to your clitoris which causes orgasms much more easily than penetration. Actually most woman i have been with insists it is much harder to achieve orgasm without some sort of clitoral stimulation.

And it can still be very pleasing to the male. Their are many positions that can stimulate the clitoris. There is also another spot called the G-spot inside the vagina about an inch and on the top. It is a little bit different feeling than the rest of the inner vagina. These orgasms have been told to feel different than tyhe clitoral orgams, but is much more difficult to achieve by in experienced partners. So i would suggest trying the first position first. Secondly, relax totally during the intercourse and as Devastated2008 stated dont let the worry of orgasming overwhelm the actual sex process. Relax and comunicate with your partner of what does and does not feel good. Then relax and let your body take its natural course.

-Tha Truth-

p.s. You can message me for more advice.

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A female reader, devastated2008 United States +, writes (23 November 2009):

devastated2008 agony auntIt sounds like you have not reached orgasm because the feeling is very distinctive and unlike anything else.

When you become aroused and close to orgasm your pelvic structures become engorged with blood and this causes significant pressure. During an orgasm,you will feel involuntary muscular contractions which prevent further congestion and allows the congested blood to drain in a matter of minutes and will leave you with a distinctly pleasurable sensation, followed by a feeling of relaxation.

You are obviously inexperienced and your bf may be as well. Chances are that you are not getting enough foreplay and stimulation. If you are trying to orgasm simultaneously or during actual coitus ... give that up for now, that will come later with experience.

Try having him bring you to orgasm by focusing strictly on you and using his hands and mouth to bring you to orgasm by stimulating your clitoris. Both of you should expect 45-60 minutes of foreplay before you do orgasm. With each orgasm it will get easier and more natural and after you learn to orgasm consistently you can enjoy practicing the simultaneous or vaginal orgasms.

It is very common for women not to reach orgasm in the beginning. Don't put any pressure on yourself, make your goal to enjoy the closeness and intimacy whether you actually orgasm or not. The orgasm will come eventually.

Also make sure you let your partner know how much you enjoy his love even when you don't reach orgasm... men tend to take it very personally, but don't lie and pretend an orgasm.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009):

You will feel intensely pleasurable contractions that will generally ebb and flow for several minutes. If you weren't sure that was an orgasm, you will generally be much more lubricated afterward as well. It might be difficult for you to achieve an orgasm during intercourse with this gentleman because of compatibility issues.

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A female reader, desirewhitefire Austria +, writes (23 November 2009):

desirewhitefire agony auntYou'll feel contractions.

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