A
female
age
41-50,
*hanib
writes:How do you tell love from lust? I am 35 and recently met up with an old flame i used to hang out with when we were teenagers. I always liked this guy and he liked me. We had a brief relationship but it was mainly based on sex. He did however tell me once he really liked me alot and after that it just fizzled out and i had not seen him for over 15yrs. We are both now mature adults, he has a son and i have children also. We meet up again via facebook and he asked me out, he said he had always had a soft spot for me. My relationship had gone pear shaped so i didnt see as i had anything to lose. We have met 5 times now and have started sleeping with each other. He lives alone and has his own place so we meet every couple of wks and spend the evening together. How do you tell if he just wants sex or if he does actually like me and thats an added bonus.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 "My relationship had gone pear shaped so i didnt see as i had anything to lose."
Does this mean you broke it off, or are you cheating on someone?
The only way to tell if someone is into you for more than sex is to not have sex with them and see if they stick around. Then, when they talk to you about it, you can talk about your fears about their intentions. There is no test, so that's usually why it's a good idea to wait, despite hormones and desires.
If you're cheating on someone, what do you hope to accomplish? That's cruel and you should end your relationship. Even if it has "gone pear shaped" nobody deserves to be cheated on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Ask him.
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