A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Male opinion appreciated, how do you tell if a much younger man has romantic interests if he has not asked you out yet? I work in a very casual environment where interoffice dating is not frowned on at all. I have a supervisor who has been my boss for about 2 months and when he first started he seemed to fawn all over me and flirt a lot and often says things and does things to make me feel like he is really interested in me....he was engaged for a long time and broke up, but I am not sure how long that has been for him....I also am responsible for making sales for him and I notice that he flirts a lot or kids around with a lot of the girls and I think that is his way of motivating people, he wants everyone to like him....At first he would accidentally touch me and then draw attention to it, once he asked me if he should shave his newly grown beard, and I made the dumb comment that he was pretty and it would be a shame to cover all that up while touching his moustache, and he came in the next day with the mustache shaved off. A couple of nights ago, he sat at my desk on one of my deals and when he got up and I went back to my desk, I found his new business card laying there, he did not give anyone else on our team a card, and I did not ask him why he did that. A week earlier he had a long conversation with me telling me about his family and his grandfather dying in the past and that he has his ashes and is supposed to take them to Canada wher they liked to go fishing and lots of personal information, just sort of out of the blue he blurted it out.Then last night he looked at me and said "Are you mad at me? I said "no why?" And he said "Don't you like me?" I just gave him a funny confused look because nothing happened except I had not given him much attention that day....then later that evening I asked him if I could leave an hour early and he told me know and then he started criticizing me over asking for time off and not making it up as I agreed, and he said my word did not mean anything....I tried to talk about it, but he did not listen at first and I got frustrated so I just said why don't you just fire me then, and went back to my seat, then he comes over and sits down with next to me and talks to me for 45 minutes, the conversation got really personal about what my goals were outside of this job, what his were, he told me things about how he could personally get sued if he fired someone the wrong way, I brought up in a kidding way about filing a sexual harassment suit against him, and he brought up the fact that he could date a rep if he wanted to that our company did not frown on it and that they could not control who he might fall in love with.....then he gave me this little square of playdo he was playing with and told me I could keep it as a remembrance of this conversation...he made me laugh during it, and it was the first time he really listened to me and asked me questions....I sort of felt in a way he was using being a boss to find out more about me....However the next day he sort of stayed away from me, but smiled once when I made a comment in a meeting in sort of a proud way....I just don't know if he has feelings for me, I have them for him or am starting to, but he has never asked me out so I think I just don't understand him. I am the most educated and mature woman who works for him, he is 28 and I just turned 50, and he knows I am at least 42......What should I do, get over myself, does he sound like he is showing signs of feelings or is he just a friendly guy....I don't have the confidence in this one to trust my instincts, because in many ways I am very vulnerable and want a boyfriend, so may just be totally not getting him...Any help would be appreciated.
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broke up, confidence, engaged, flirt, my boss Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, caughtbylove +, writes (16 December 2006):
I'd have to agree with Tellulah, speaking from my own perspective, I wouldn't start criticising a person I liked and I certainly wouldn't say that her word didn't mean anything.
I find it difficult to tell a girl I like her but he just seems like he's looking for a bit of fun to get him through the day.
You seem too nice to be used by this guy, if you do proceed with it, be careful
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  + ♥, writes (15 December 2006):
 I know you wanted a man to answer, and i am female, but here goes.
Dont go there, I think you are barking up the wrong tree,and he is using his flirting to get work done. This in itself is totally unexeptable in the work place. Even though it may be fun at the time. How embarased are you going to feel if this guy turns you down. Or worse, what if he dosn't and then it becomes common knowledge. I would find a man nearer your own age, and who would have more interests in common with you.
Unless you are not looking for a relationship, and its just sex, and you dont care what people say. Then go for it, your a long time dead.
Good luck hun X
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