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How do you start up a long distance relationship?

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 March 2009)
A male United States age 36-40, *antonean writes:

I met this girl on a cruise just this spring break. We hit it off really well, I had asked her at dinner if they were going to the club and they said they were. Right before they had shown up I asked for some salsa music so I could dance with my friends fiancee. She walked in with her friends and quickly came and sat and we started talking.

I mentioned to her that I had asked for some salsa music and she lit up and gave her friends the omg look. So we took off and danced, and then for the rest of the night we danced and chatted.

The second night we met again this time just the two of us and we just went up to the top deck and talked for about 2 hrs since the boat was rocking really bad. I walked her back to her room and went in for the kiss, surprisingly she took over the kiss (which I liked). I got her number and said my goodbye since it was the last night.

As soon as we got of the ship we started to text each other. I had a pretty long ride back up to where I lived and she pretty much texted me from 12pm to 1am. She quickly added me on facebook and we have talked since on the phone.

Now my question is: I'm pretty sure she's into me just as much as I am into her. Thing is she lives about 6 hrs away from where I am currently. I have read tons of articles on maintaining Long Distance Relationships but not how you suggest or start one, I've looked everywhere. I wouldn't normally try a LDR but I am about to graduate and well I have nothing to lose so why not. Thanks for any advice ahead of time.

View related questions: facebook, fiance, long distance, text

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A male reader, Pantonean United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

Pantonean is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys. I definitely don't want to rush things. I was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years up until last August. I will continue to feel out the situation. I will be going out around her homestate here in about two months so if I feel like we are still into it, I'll suggest a meet. I do have another question though. Since we have talked quite a bit since we met, I feel like I may be to available at the moment. I don't want her to get the idea that I am clingy and needy. I keep myself busy but at night I'm usually home on the net.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009):

First of all, dont suggest to her that you want to start one...Go with the flow for the time being, and what i mean by that is.. Keep up the txt'ing... keep talking on the phone.. keep doing this untill she reveals her feelings or if she makes the next move... or you can do that first if you want thats up to you, then decide on meeting sometime when you are both free and have money for travels etc, and if the connection and bond becomes stronger then you will know when it is time to be in a long distance relationship. The hard part about LDR's is the COMMITMENT and TRUST that ensues on both sides... so dont put that pressure on you and her so early since you have just met.. trust me... i know this from experience and i am in a 4 year LDR. in 2 months i will be re united with my SO (significant other). We have had our ups and downs and breakups during the 4 year, but if its true love then you know it will withstand the time, the people who have been through this know exactly what im talking about. You are in for a hell of a ride buddy!

GOODLUCK!

tim

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A female reader, subway United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

To be honest long distance Relationships don't really work out.You'r always arguing because you'r wondering.who are they with and stuff.You really have to trust the person because if theres no trust theres no RELATIONSHIP at all.

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A male reader, Jason means Healer United Kingdom +, writes (23 March 2009):

Well, at risk of sounding rather predatory, I will say a few things.

Long distance relationships are expensive per se.

So, plenty of the cheap stuff (sms, e-mails, internet, letters), less of the medium stuff (phone calls) and fewer still of the expensive (travel and lodge).

Hopefully, at some point in your communications you will feel comfortable in either asking her out or establishing what boundries/definitions she wishes to place on your relationship.

If you do/ and she says yes; then great!

Explain to her how often you expect you will be able to see her for the current period and an honest reply of acceptance/dissapointment/rejection would go a long way to saving you a lot of trouble.

But, supposing it's all doable then it's fairly important to take that next step of meeting her again in the flesh sooner rather than later (before the fire goes out, dude!)

Be sure to give plenty of reassurance that you're keen on her and that you find her desirable.

Compliments are not my speciality but let's just say I'm not shy with them.

Take her to dinner. Impress her with your impecible manners. And then make another move on her!

Terrible, ain't I?

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