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How do you just 'relax' in a relationship? I'm afraid of scaring him off

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *ardia writes:

I'm afraid I'm going to ruin this 10 month old relationship with my projecting and second-guessing. I'm a viscerally emotional person--I tried antidepressants for 12 years and they just make me flat, so I refuse to go that route again. These emotions are who I am. But I'm afraid at times that it's more than my boyfriend can endure (I just love him so completely, it's overwhelming for both of us at times). I'm also finding I have trust issues and this is only my first relationship ever! So I ride a constant rollercoaster. Any suggestions for learning to 'relax' about this relationship. He does care for me. I just worry too much.

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A male reader, FLIPPER66 United States +, writes (29 August 2011):

FLIPPER66 agony auntalot of your stress is self imposed , instead of looking at all the negatives (/that might happen) look at all the positives that have happened that are good in your relationship . focus on these and you'll see alot of the stress and other issues gradually ease off. no they won't go over night but will take time but you will over time see improvement in your relationship with him. if there are small problems work through them together to solve them. open communication in a relationship is vital if its to be a healthy one. talk with him about how you feel your insecurities and ask him if he can help you in resolving those because you do care so much about him and his opinions and your relationship with him. if he likes you (or loves you) he'll do what ever it takes to mend any broken bridges their may be .

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