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How do you have... an interesting personality? What puts off women on a date?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2007)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

i have often wondered what it s that puts off women when i want to go on a date with them. I realise now that it is because i am boring. what do i have to do to have an interesting personality?

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A female reader, MonDoc Australia +, writes (16 November 2007):

If you truly feel that you're "boring" to other people (generally), then what you're saying is that your range of interests / topics of discussion are very limited.

The most bored I've been around a particular person is when they've had one subject that they focus on, and just go on & on & on about that. An extreme version of this is Asperger's Syndrome where sufferers / those afflicted are very focussed and obsessed with a particular topic and don't get the non-verbal 'clues' that people are losing interest in their discussion.

If you want to broaden your horizons, which is NEVER a bad thing, try new things... reading different books, a short course on something that you wouldn't normally try (e.g. thai cooking, a language course), a hobby or event you've never got around to doing (e.g. horseback riding, salsa dancing).

A really good way to start is an online encyclopedia like Wikipedia -- it always has a feature article that is new & different, and always links to other articles --- today's article, for example, is about Oklahoma - its origins, population, links to religious basis and so on.. It also has a section "this day in history" --- today it's talking about many events, including 1384 in which Jadwiga (who was only 13 at the time) became crowned princess of Poland!

I'm not saying that you have to became a raging intellectualist, but knowledge and learning can be a fascinating & exhilarating experience... and the wider your knowledge base & experience, the less boring you'll feel as you'll have an expansive range of interests & theories & topics to discuss with anyone --- and that's the important thing - that YOU don't FEEL boring in yourself, not what other people might to percieve!

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (16 November 2007):

Frank B Kermit agony auntAddress her emotional needs. The root of this system is to ask the qwuestion:

Am I making her feel like my mother, or I am making her feel like my lover?

Each time she feels like she has to mother you, you failed her test, and she is put off.

Each time she feels like she could be your lover, you pass her test, and she feels turned on and wants to be with you more.

To become more interesting...be interested in different things. Find your passions, like and dislikes. And be CURIOUS ABOUT HER. Learn about who she is, not who you want her to be. Get to know the feel of her soul.

You can read more about these topics in my profile here on dear cupid.

Frank B Kermit author of I'm A Man, That's My Job and the book Everything Out Of Her Mouth is a Test.

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (15 November 2007):

flower girl agony auntGod if we all liked each other it would be a nightmare, i'm sure you have plenty of friends who like you for who you are, you do not need to change yourself for anyone, if someone does not like you for who you are you are not right for them thats all, does not mean to say you are not right for everyone.

You might be putting too much pressure on yourself to find someone, stop trying to find someone and let them come to you.

Take care.xx.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007):

put it this way she isnt intrested or its just because your not funny girls like myself like funny boys and cute 1s if your not funny we get put off be funny but not over the top lean in to kiss the girl to make her even more intrested i hope it goes well good look

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A female reader, whiteshadow United Kingdom +, writes (15 November 2007):

whiteshadow agony auntAnalyse each women you like/meeting. Be confident and humouros. find out what they like doing and talk about it. maybe suggest you could both do it together.

Things i dislike in men personally are:

(sorry about some of the spelling)

Arrogant, un-higienic, selfish, boring to talk too

Things i like:

Honest, open minded, Fun-loving, Humour is so important to me.

and there are others but they tend to be what comes off the top of my mind

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