A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex for over 2 years and fell deeply in love with him it was fantastic! I lost my virginity to him and doted on him. We split up last september due to their being an age difference and i was really depressed for 4 months. In April I met another guy who is closer to my age very sweet and gorgeous. Howvever, am still hooked on my ex and we have to see each other regularly as we play tennis together everytime we see each other I can feel the spark and the heat that I have never felt with anyone else and it lacks in this new relationship ... Help me please what do i do?
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depressed, lost my virginity, my ex, spark, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): hey just to say i wrote this message and i want to thank you all for your comments. I am no longer with the new boyfriend and have distanced myself from the ex. I am struggling but I am struggling through your advice has helped me alot so I just wanted to say thankyou very much!
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (31 May 2008):
 Maybe the new bloke is not the one who can mend your heart but maybe you havent given him a chance yet. Its hard to heal and you feel as though you will never get over the pain you feel right now. But you will. There is no magic cure and no set time scale to this. You can only move forward and wait to see what happens with this new guy. If he is not the one then someone else WILL make you happy again however unlikely that feels right now x x x
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A
female
reader, growing  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Is there anyway you two can get back??
if yes,when?
and if no,then you know
there is no use of feeling that heat with him.
I agree its reallly hard to do this but life is all about timing.There are times when one has to be practical and leave all emotions aside.
open your eyes and try to see better life with this new guy.
past is gone and try holidng it in your hand would evevn take away your present.
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A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (30 May 2008):
Your first time is always special! Honor that, and respect it. Hopefully your new guy is understanding enough to deal with it. When you are with your new guy, make very sure he knows he's the only one now, even though your ex is around and he will probably notice the spark. Just let him know that your ex is part of your history and very important, but you have only one lover now. You might want to stop playing tennis with him - though that's probably going to be hard for you both. Just think about it and see where it goes. There's lots of learning and difficult feelings here, yet if you transcend them and honor them, you two will have a much better chance. Make sure you don't do anything that can be seen in the wrong light - keep it all honest. I wish the best for you - good luck.
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