A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey Guys. I've been in a long distance relationship for 4 months now, I am completely crazy about my boyfriend and he does make me very happy. My problem is that in the time we've been together we have only met for 2 weeknds. This long distance thing is really hard for me as we only chat once a week cause he is always working. All I want to know is how can I deal with this loneliness, I haven't seen him for 2 months already.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey All
A few weeks ago I posted needed a little advice on hoe to deal wit my LDR and you guys were a great help, thank you all so much for the great advice you gave me. My relationship with my boyfriend has gotten a lot stronger ans I am more in love with him.
I have something else I need help on now, today I found out that my b/f will be moving here (Johannesburg) as in 2 months time. It is great news but I am afraid of what it might do to the relationship. I mean I have never been able to see him for more than a weekend in a space of three months. Now if he moves here I will be seeing him more often; is it strange for me to be a little scared of such a change in this very comfortable LDR that I am in now. Please advise more on this even if you may think I am crazy. Thank you all again!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): the loneliness helps you remember how much you love each other you don't want to cure that trust me that makes the relationship even stronger.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): hi i am in a LDR and no there not easy its all about commitment and honesty and trust i have been with my man for over a year now and believe he his my soul mate we connect very well talk on msn every night and text every day full commited to each other only get to see each other on school hols cause we both have kids so thats not very often but its come to a time i feel i need to be near him now for things to progress cause i always get that hurting and missing feeling and cry a few times when i get that hurt feeling inside so i have taken the plunge to be by him and i am due to move in a months time and really cant wait to move to be nearer will be able to see him a lot more and just be able to walk to his house which will feel strange but oh so good he his proper excited i am moving nearer then in the future will move in together but will be nice i can just call on him anytime and him me i feel about LDR one has to move for it to progress thats my view and you have to stay fully commited and if you love this person that should not be hard since i made my mind up to move nearer to him that feeling of hurt and sadness has gone away cause i know i am going to be nearer so just keep commited to each other not easy but its a nice thing to have as well good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): I am also in an LDR. Im in Canada, hes in the USA. Weve been together over 2 years and spent the equivelent of 2 months in each others actual presence.
The key is communication. You have to be able to talk and connect. There are many websites that offer ways to do this. Online games, virtual dates, MMRPG, skype,vent, emails. Is easy when you find the ways to do it, its just finding them.
One thing we did, is that I listen to a certain radio station, so if I need to go driving, he knows the radio station Im on. He can log into there website and listen to what Im listening to, hes just on his computer and im in my car ... but on some level we are connected.
You have to get very creative and romantic in and LDR. Snail mail and little gifts are always amazing. I spent hours making up a love card, cut out all the hearts, and printed some of our private sayings on them. I never got to mailing it, so when I went to see him the day I left him to come back home, I posted them all over his mirror in his bathroom. He drove me to the airport, and when he got ready for bed that night, he found them ... this is the kind of things you need to learn how to do. Another thing we do is take a day every week for datenight .. we determine a movie to watch, get it/rent it, and sit at the computers on skype and watch a movie together.
LDR is hard, missing their touch-smell-kisses, whatever ... that pysical contact that we as humans need ... we dont get that. But what we do get, that many others may never discover, is actaul honest appreciation for our partner when we are with them. The understanding that the people we love are precious to us, and that they should never be taken for granted.
Just do some research on LDR and youll come up with many ways to spend time together.
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 Yes, LDR's can be very difficult. You need to be able to "visit" - I strongly recommend Skype since it's free if you both have it on your computers, and you can "video visit" talking in real time as often as you like.
Only having met in person for two weekends - so far - is really very little.......is it possible to meet more often sometime in the near future? If that's not possible, then even though you're both crazy about one another and he makes you very happy, this is still a very new relationship, and you might - not now but a few more months down the road - have to consider whether you want to try to maintain the friendship.
What kind of activities and interests do you have and enjoy doing? How about family and women pals - even other platonic male friends? Are you currently working or in college/university? It would be good to get as involved as you can with friends/studies/work/activities you enjoy, etc., so that your focus isn't all on how much you miss your bf. Besides, you'll then have something of interest to tell him about next time you talk - an added "bonus"!
I have a friend in the UK who attends the same church I do when I'm there visiting family & friends - which is twice a year. I was there in the spring five weeks and will be going in September for six weeks, so we'll get together then. I wouldn't, at this point, say we're bf/gf. Though we do like one another and each enjoy the other's company. We talk once a week at least on Skype. This works well for both of us at this point. I prefer to take things slowly and let them develop as they will.
However, I recognize this might not work for everyone.
I certainly wouldn't consider being in an LDR where the chance to meet was slim to non-existent.
I do hope this will be of some help! Good luck to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): Hi,I would like to share this with you.I am in an LDR for almost two yrs.He is from UK and I am from India...4500 miles away from each other.But we chat online every single day.We call each other often.We met just twice..that happened 6 months ago.We don't belong to same country/religion/profession but both of us feel so close to each other.We want to spend our life together.We know that we will be together in future.He proposed to me and we will get married once I finish my studies.We are both around 25 yrs.Yes,it does feel lonely when you can't get in touch.But make your thoughts verbal.Tell him how much you missed him (while he was away)when you get back together on phone/msn.If you are sure that you have a future then things will be fine.Plan a vacation soon.Start buying little gifts for him.You can give him these gifts when you meet him in person.Do things to take your mind off any negative thoughts.Every couple is different.But I have found my love being in an LDR.Hope this helps you.
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A
male
reader, mr toyboy +, writes (9 July 2010):
Its so unfortunat, the situation you find yourself, but before you agreed to the relationship, am sure you were aware it was gona be a long distance relationship.
I really dont know what i will do if i dont see my GF in two months, when she left for home (Durbs) in Dec for just a week, we so missed each other, but i occupied myself with other things like going to see old friends and hanging out.
Good luck to you.
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