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How do we tell the family?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 July 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 July 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *cmhbreirs writes:

i have been seeing my cousin and we are in love. how do we tell the family?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010):

Not to be a wet blanket or anything, but you do realize that it's not legal for first cousins to marry in the U.S.? There are reasons for that. Depending on where you live, it may be illegal for you to live together, too. Incest is never a good thing.

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A female reader, acmhbreirs United States +, writes (28 July 2010):

acmhbreirs is verified as being by the original poster of the question

we are first cousins. we are about 9 years apart in age. we have been somewhat estranged for years. our immediate families don't really get along. we reconnected and started hanging out. neither one of us expected this to happen. if asked this ? just weeks ago, i might have been very judgemental. we don't expect anyone to understand. just acceptance would be nice. i have children and my tubes are tied. procreating is not an issue. we are simply in love and wish to spend our lives together. i appreciate all responses to my ? and welcome any more that you may have. we care very much for the family and do not wish to hurt anyone. this is a difficult thing for us and we realize it will be difficult for the family. we hope it's something that will work itself out over time. thanks again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

depends is it frist cousin or second etc and people were with there cousins in the past it not rare as for telling them i sugguest do it small first tell her/his parents wait and see how they feel about it and you have some backing maybe week or two after telling them bring them for dinner in your place so they can see you love each other and it aint lust. as for the rest of the family let it spread by word of mouth give it a good few weeks for everyone to get use to the idea and then have a barq

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

Don't its not legal and its pretty grim end it an difnd someone whos not going to mess with your genetics

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

i would say tell the closest people to you first - like your mum, dad or sibling, then tehy can slowly break it to the people who might be less tolerant and also it will most likely sound better coming from somebody older - if you tell people they could think you're being naive and don't understand the full implications of what you're doing. Good luck!

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A female reader, LLindy87 United States +, writes (27 July 2010):

LLindy87 agony auntOh boy, well are you planning on telling them all at once as an announcement or just tell those family closest to you and let the word spread?

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