A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidMe and my bf have been together for almost a year ..recently we have been fighting a lot and most of the time it's because of me..otherwise we just happen to get into some misunderstandings.I love him a lot and after several failed relationships I know that he wants this to work and he want to save this relationship as well..However we recently got into a big argument and he said he cannot take this relationship anymore and asked for a breakup..I was broken..our families know about our relationship and we have made plans for marriage and engagement next year ..I convinced him not to break up and change my habits..I promised him to fight less but now I'm in a dilemma..I'm scared if I do something stupid or start a fight again for a petty issue,he might leave me for good.. I feel extremely sad that I hurt him and caused him to ask for a break because I had promised to not hurt him at all n give him all the happiness ..I'm confused how this relationships will be from now..It feels like we need to start over.i don't know if things will be the same again pls advise
View related questions:
a break Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): Often times it takes two to argue. It's rarely always just one person's fault. Do you really believe that you are such a "B...." that you'd be on his case and picking fights with him all the time?Do you really see yourself as that kind of person? Or might it be that he's so good at making you feel like it's your fault. A true man will not only see your faults, but his faults as well and work with you to resolve them. A man not worthy of your time and love will only point the finger at you and say he's had enough. NEVER... and I repeat NEVER let a man threaten you with break up. If he wants to walk out, open the door for him, because you know there will be another man who will come in and never want to leave. You need to believe that man exists and you need to wait for him.Marriage and a future are great things that can turn into poison if it's with the wrong person. Best of luck! The only way it will work is if you BOTH want to and you BOTH work together on it. Any other way will just lead to failure.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2015): Nobody wants to be in a volatile relationship. Who wants to argue all the time. It's unhealthy, stressful and unnecessary. If you're the one starting the arguments then you need to figure out why.
You haven't even made a year and you're arguing al lot. Not a good sign. Maybe he's not the person for you. If he wants to break up then you should walk away. You shouldn't convince him to be with you.
Change is possible but the likelihood of you not starting another argument is very slim.
He's going to be on the defensive. And you're going to be tiptoeing around trying not to argue. That gets old quick. Best thing to do is break up. Take some time apart and figure out why it wasn't working.
...............................
A
female
reader, Nicky123  +, writes (24 November 2015):
You say the arguements are because of you .... are you sure of this. Without being a fly on the wall its hard for me to say but sometimes guys have ways of always convincing a woman the arguments are all their fault when in fact it might be them at fault or 50/50. Make sure you're not just being convinced its all you ..... if that's the case it could develope into a mentally abusive relationship. Not knowing you I may be way off the mark but it crossed my mind. If it is all you and you are certain of that ... then maybe therapy to help you find out why you have issues. That's all I can suggest hun. All the best x
...............................
|
