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anonymous
writes: Hi. I have this new friend of mine that I have known for two months now who I really like. He does not know I am gay as I am not 'out', but I kind of feel a conection between us, like we talk all the time and go out just together to clubs and stuff. We even booked a weekend away in the summer with a few others, even though we hardly know each other. All I want to know from fellow homosexuals, are there any tricks to convert him? Or if he is curious is there anything I can do to make hime come over to my side? Maybe some others have some succesful stories that you can share with me? I do find myself staring deep into his eyes most times and when were drunk I get we both get a bit more casual with like touching each other, like when we speak in a club and it's loud I will put my arm across his back so he can lean in and talk in my ear and stuff like that. There's electricity there which maybe he does feel too. I just need tips to make him realize he is feeling it and then act on it. I'm all ears people!
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male
reader, IDK-Bi  +, writes (16 May 2008):
Dude get a real strait guy to tell you how they work,
For me i am 17 and i came out to my Best girl friend and then best guy friend for moral support. then one day i had the guts to come out to the guy i liked. He jokes gayly about things touching other guys except me. Im sure its just jokingly. But sometimes i wonder, when i came out to him he was nice and it wasn't really a big deal saying "im bi, i mean i like girls to ." and i asked him not to do anything gay anymore like say thats gay or just things that would suggest gay to me. He told me nothing would change and we are still pals. its just im sure he is strait. Don't force anyone to come to your side, cuz his brother is really annoying cuz he is just gay gay and he makes me feel uncofortable. Like he touches me and leans on me and he's like the only guy i feel weird with but he is the only guy that shows he is gayly into me,
Sorry i know this is like all ovr the place.. but point is. 1)you meet him half way.
2) you wait
3) if it seems like he is into you then do something more or make sure that its legit
if he isn't . such in my case just be his friend and if you love him then you will except him for who he is too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): Same problem here. I'm in love with this straight guy at school. He's caring, funny, sensitive, but at the same time he is masculine. I don't know if he says he's "straight" by peer pressure. Maybe he's not ready to let everybody know he's gay. So i'm not sure if he's straight or gay. Bottom line is, I want to tell him I love him, but then again, I'm scared of freaking him out and losing him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): I have been sleeping with a straight man from Canada for over two years now. I know he has tons of girl friends and doesn't want that part of his life to end, but he only has one gay lover. He's French he says that is allowed. He is totally hot and I am so into him, but it does stop me from allowing other people in my life. Anyway I have found that straight guys want to have the experience of giving oral to another guy. And lets not forget about old fashion kissing and flattery.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Noooo!!! You can't change someone's sexuality!
You know you can't be turned straight, so accept that if your friend is straight, he can't be turned gay either! I'm madly in love with a gay man and have been for about seven years. But I've had to accept it won't happen and if your friend is straight you have to, too. It gets easier with time, I promise.
If you have suspicians over his sexuality yet don't want to admit yours, then perhaps drop some subtle hints... Say you think Johnny Depp (or someone) is really attractive next time he's on the TV or something, and if you don't get the reaction you wanted, perhaps just turn it around and make a joke about it. When you feel ready though, you should tell your friend about your sexuality. If he turns away from you then he's not worth knowing, if he accepts it despite the fact he is firmly straight then you've lost nothing and you've put your mind at rest and if he decides to tell you he has feelings for you then that's good too.
There's nothing to lose by telling him. Go for it- it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Honesty is the best policy. Tell him you’re gay, you’ll inject a lot of trust into your friendship. It’ll also take a weight off your mind too. Friends are by far the most understanding people to be around when you come out, which is why most turn to them first. You do run the risk of scaring him away, but if you do can you truly say he was a real friend? Stay clear of telling him that you have feelings for him; chances are he won’t reciprocate. Instead, give him time to adjust and if he is curious he’ll let you know for sure. That’s when you can make your move. Just remember that there is no such thing as good pressure in any relationship, no matter what the circumstances.
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reader, Skywalker19  +, writes (19 April 2008):
I was in the same situation but it turned out differently one night my friend and I had been drinking and for some reason i decided to pull "it" out instead of being surprised he did the same and I watched him jack off which (needless to say) turned me on alot that happened once and never again but i still had feelings for him then on new years we were both drunk again and I told him I had to speak to him I toke him into the bathroom and started to feel his crotch he pulled away but i told him that it was ok and that i was in love with him it got better from there and he took my anal virginity that night i think that if your mate likes you in any way it will show at least a little try doing something stupid around him maybe just to test if his interested if not then maybe hes not right for you and you should just be friends
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Well I wonder truly how many run across this type of thing. I know I have a few times. Both at work and out in the clubs. I am 27 and have done Many things with Straight guys. And to boot we were not even drunk. The first time was back when i was 18 Just chillin with a friend and talking. I had already been out for 2 years so he totally knew I was gay. We were just Bullshitting and then he just stood up walked over and kissed me. I was shocked for a moment. I had told him in the past I thought he was hot, but never expected anything from it. Well. Just lets say it did go further then the kiss. And over the course of time Things still happen hear and there but he is still very straight. This has happened with several of my male friends over the years in all ranges from just Kissing and Fondeling all the way to ... well u get the picture.... Only one of my friends has " Come to the other side" so to speak. The rest all have their girlfriends or families etc.I Tend more to think that As others have stated that there is no one that is born gay or straight its more a matter of lables. IMO Sleep with who u want to. Don't Force someone whos not intrested. And enjoy life. If u toss around at least a hint that your "Gay, Bi" or just Horny to your friend.... (yes it's easiear if you at least try to become there friend first) They will let you know where the lines are to be drawn .u can also toss around test questions to see what there take is of gay people as well base ur " opening up" on the responce. You will truly be suprized what a horny str8 boy will do LOL. even My Best friends wife has called me before to ask for " Pointers" on a few topic's as he has told her we have messed around before. Just have Patience but also be steadfast and honest to urself. You will never convert anyone. The choice of being gay is a personal choice regardless of what outsiders have to say about it. If u push to hard u may loose the friendship alltogeather.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I personally believe that everyone is a little bisexual at times. Im in the exact same situation you are in and I feel your pain. It hurts. BAD.
Dont let others discourage you. Ive fooled around with 14 guys and only one of them was really gay. The other 13 were 'str8'
It takes time and a lot of patience. Build trust with him. If its meant to happen, IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!
And who knows, he might suprise you. If hes real horny and asks you to give him head and youre out to him, he'll let you do it!
But its not gauranteed. It varies from guy to guy.
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reader, Thickhanger +, writes (27 January 2008):
You can't make a gay man straight any more than you can make
a straight man gay. Many gay men are very in tune with women.
This was probably the "electricity" you felt. He was relaxed
with you because he was not sexually intimidated by you and
he was also drunk. He was having fun. So unless he's bisexual,
he probably has no plans to get any closer to a women than
he was with you. And a warning. If you try and push him into
even attempting to be "straight" with you, you quite possibly
will lose his freindship. Then you'll never see him again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): Hmm ,
I wouldnt reccommend trying to convert him so to speak.
Study their body language and habits , do any of them seem "un straight" to you so to speak. (my method if they appear "unstraight" at times
I was a mate with a guy , and i really couldnt work him out at all. So as part of my plan i made sure i went upstairs ahead of him, casually moving my prosterior side to side.
Well you given him a little incentive there , if they are interested then they are gonna go for the next steps.
Start some horseplay like wrestling, when we did this i ended up sittin on his lap , and oops something went up and i dont mean me.
He picked me up and carried me to his parents bedroom and threw me down on the bed, where we started a bit mroe horseplay. Then if you feel tension building up (and i dont mean in your penis) and he seems to be holding something back. move in for a kiss (very slowly to give them warning of what you intend to do) and if they are really not interested then they would back off. However if they are then your in business.
I assume you know how to move kissing , into oral sex and anal sex. so theres no need for me to carry on going.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): take him to the moveis and tell him
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): I think we're all living in fantasy lands! I'm in love with my best straight mate, fancy him like no one else!!..Done the whole 'get drunk' thing and told him i fancied him but he just said he was straight and was very happy and confident with his sexuality (others have thought he was gay because he's a classic metrosexual). We're still best mates and i still love him but I just have to realise that I will never really have him!! He still teases and flirts with me (i'm straight to the outside world and even though I told him it was the drink that made me tell him I liked him he knows inside how I feel). It's kind of a silent affair in a way, we're perfect mates and closer than normal mates but that's as far as it will go. I wish it was different!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): i feel the same way. im 18 and i go to high school. i like 2 boys but they arent gay(at least not to my knowledge). i havent came out yet but the funniest thing is that a guy at my school is gay and he is "in love" with me but i only like him as a friend. anyways 1 of the boys saw me spending time with the gay boy and he started talking to me more and more. finally the conversations became about gay sex and the rest was history.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): well i am indeed a homosexual i feel the same way about a friend of mine too im 16 and cassually get a little drunk (well alot) and when i am totally intoxicated i start touching him to but the answer to your question is yes.... i was sat in his room when we were disscussing top gear (program on tv) when i walked over to him and asked him to stand up he looked me in the eyes and i told him i loved him i kissed him passionatly it seemed he was shocked for quite a while and he then told me he was straight but to help with my feelings he would be mine(weird but hey i guess he was embarrassed to confess) so were toghether we enjoy our time alone and have romance all you need to do is tell him like i did i know its hard but it could produce possitive effects
hope you enjoy
ash
contact me on [email address blocked]
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): We met in '89 when we both started new jobs at the same company (...I was 45 and he was 28). He walked by my office and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I walked to the door of my office, looked down the aisle and he turned around and shot me a smile that would melt the arctic circle. It only took a couple of days before he was "working with the wiring" in my office...and that work lasted on and off for days. We finally agreed to go to break together and shortly were nearly inseparable. It seemed like not even fifteen or twenty minutes would go by without either me calling him or him calling me. I was even called aside by one of the known company gay guys and advised, "You guys might as well admit what's going on. Everyone in the company already knows". Instead, we kept building our friendship and enjoying each others company. Next thing I knew he had invited his mother and brother to the company lunch room to meet me. I was in heaven...could it be? The situation continued and he invited me to go on a four day cruise with him and his family (mother, brothers, sister and about eighty-xix other relatives) celebratiing forty-five years in America (they're originally from Holland). By the time I arrive aboard ship they were already aboard. I located the stateroom he and I were to share. He exhuberantly welcomed me inside and, as I was putting away my luggage, he re-appeared totally nude. I almost fainted. I fumbled with my luggage a little while longer and he put his clothes on. The cruise was wonderful as I had never been on a cruise before. Every time I went anywhere to do anything on my own, he would come and find me...and insist I accompany him whereever he wanted he to go. After the cruise we continued being very close and it came the day I finally had to mail him a letter telling him that I was in love with him. I sent it 'Special Delivery' on a Saturday and he called Sunday morning. We spoke for about thirty to forty minutes and he listed everything under the sun as to why it wouldn't work, including that he is "straight". But, the conversation came to a sudden halt when someone knocked on his door. But, he ended the conversation by saying, "You are right though...I do love you". This kind of banter continued for several more years...and finally, after going to his home to ask him to stay away, he said he couldn't because, "He still cared". I told him that if that was the case then we needed to do something about it. He agreed and said he knew I liked to go to Disneyland a lot and he would get season tickets so we could go together. That seemed great. Over a week went by and I didn't hear from him and then one day, at work, he walked up to me and told me he had been thinking about it and what I wanted wasn't what he wanted. I told him I thought he was nuts and to stay away from me to which he replied, "Don't forget, you're the one who told me to". Much to my dismay, things never seemed to improve. I did go by his office and asked him if he would like to go to break and he said he was too busy. I sent him a note in '99 letting him know I was going to have to have some surgery and got no response. After the surgery, the employer wouldn't let me return to work...and, so, in late 2000 I moved back East. My health condition required me to travel to the West Coast several times a year until 2005 when I was told I didn't have to go anymore. I called him at work during late 2004 and we spoke candidly to each other when he told me that he missed me and wanted me back in his life. He also told me that he was a California boy and didn't want to move back East. I told him I had family (a sick aunt) responsibilities and would return to him as soon as possible. We haven't spoken since. I still send him little things but never hear anything back. Last Christmas I included a letter asking him what he wanted to do and to let me know. No response. Well, there's my story...I love him more now than ever and it's going on eighteen years. MORAL OF THE STORY: Loving someone doesn't require a response. It would be nice...but, it isn't required.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): i don't know. believe it or not, i used to be straight, so i thought. but i met some guy, and a little while later, he said he was gay. then some how, next thing i know we're in the bud together. i don't even know how it happened, but i'm gay now! WEIRD!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): Guys Guys Guys!!I can understand where you are coming from, in fact since coming out of the closet myself, I have had nothing but " Straight" men throwing themselves at me. Now I know some of you are say " how can a straight man be attracted to a gay man?" well I have been looking for that answer in the crotches of men all over the city.Much to the surprise of my girlfriends coming home from a club without anyone, meanwhile I am cabbing it home with a hot guy I met in the bathroom... I have had guys offer to take me home and party with them and the other two hotties he was with or slide their business cards in the butt pocket of my jeans... I wouldn't look at these situations as trying to convert someone, but to have a moment to experience the curiosity we were all born with.. I believe people are not born straight or gay.. they are just born to experience what life has to offer, some oeople are more willing to move past society based sterotypes and just have fun. However, in the situtation of having a romantic connection with a straight dude.. this is a more rare scenario, but not to say it doesn't happen... in fact, one of the greatest loves of my life, just came back in to my life; found out he is married now with a child... but we certainly expressed our deep love to each other on numerous occasions, just make sure your feelings are real, on both sides, before making your move on the family jewels. To make a long story, a little shorter... all men like to have their dicks sucked... doesn't matter who it is, as long as its hot, warm and feels good... they want more. An old friend of mine used to go in to locker rooms of hockey players ( college league) and suck off quite a few members of the team (he was a bit of a whore, but you gotta love him for loving it so much) If it feels good do it screw the the labels and live life as a human being with the ability to love and sex anyone you choose, male or female, gay or straight... the only one that will know how true the feelings you have for someone is YOU... anyone else can offer advice, but can't make the decision for you... that only you can do.Best of luck... and only do what feels good :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): I'm in same boat as teej. Love my best m8 to bits and he kind of knows I might be bi. Spend loads of time with him but we're really good mates.It's hard but best to remai as straight mates!
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reader, TasteofIndia + ♥, writes (10 February 2007):
 Hey honey,
You can't "convert" anyone. Could a lady walk into your life and convert you into being straight? However, maybe an excellent way (if you suspect he might be gay or bi) to find out if he is curious is to set an example. YOU come out of the closet. If you tell him that you're gay, maybe it'll make him more comfortable with his own feelings. If he isn't gay or interested in you, you shouldn't lose his friendship - if he is a real friend.
If he gets put off by this and doesn't want to hang out, well - he wasn't a good friend ANYWAY. But, if he has been having some feelings towards you, this will allow him to feel more comfortable with letting you know.
xxIndia
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007): well kid ive had the same happen to me well just a little diffrent. beleave it! ive known him and his bros for 12 yrs "lucky me. he was the same age as i. well it was about 5yrs ago i was in 10th grade ive had feeling for him who was sapose to be my best friend for a long time. he didnt know i was gay heck no one knew, well we would always play hide and go seek in the dark and im not if it was an accadent but sometime if he was hiding in a closet or something he would brush pass my leg close to" "well" get the point. anyway it would make me feel weird and i would stop playing the game. or like he would take a shower and ask me to wash his back for him that would also make me feel not right. he did strike me as gay i mean he had a girl friend. anyway little things like that would happen for about five or six months. till one day he spent the night at my house my mom at work my bros and sissys out partyin with friends. we would play around like always nuthin differnt it was around bed time so we took a bath me first than him,well like always he asked if i could wash his back for him. this time i didnt want to so i said no, he says "ok". well as he was getting out of the shower i relized he left he towel and cloths on my bed. so he comes in my room totaly naked and wet. i said u want to put some clothshe said he would he had to dri off first ok. well im sitting on the floor in front of my bed hes walking pass me and trips on a ps2 controller and falls on me and the bed. u get my drift wen i say it was in my face.wel i couldnt resist so grabd it to my surprise he lets me. after like two mins i stop caus it makes me feel not right. i tell him i cant do it. ha says no and forces me back on choking me. now hes stronger than me so he can do things i cant much do anything about. im srtaying off my point so {Blah zahy blah"he rapes me and not just orally,loose a friend, im sad hearts broken "Blah zahy blah" never going out, hardly eating, "Blah zahy blah" goes on for months, not telling anyone} i finally get over it but u know i would sometimes think about it. like it was two yrs later and i was thinking about it by a lake, and his younger brother approched me and said i missed u how come u havent come over to play with me and my bros anymore he was the only one i could tell i trusted him the most of everyone so i tolled him wat happend 2 yrs ago i tolld him i was gay and that i thought i was in love with his bro. but he just comferted me and cryed with me than tolled me he was gay and had feellings for me for a long time and was afraid to tell me, and he waited for a long time to tell me. now i was 17 he was 14 i didnt think it was gunna work. but for some odd reason i liked him and it did work. that like became love and were still together this day im in college hes in his last year of high. im not trying to scare u into not telling him how u feel but wat my point is if u like this guy wait for a bit than tell him how u feel. my lover waited for me. he might come around he might not. don't expect too much. love comes from the most unexpected place's
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2006): well, i have almost the same problem. but my guy knows i'm bi. hell, even his parents found out i loved him.
my only advice is that they make much better friends than boyfriends, i think it's cruel to force someone to do something like change sexuality. i still love my problem dearly, and he knows, but we work around it and are best of friends. set boudaries and just have fun.
hope it all turns out well, love teej
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reader, Dr Pete  + ♥, writes (1 June 2006):
 Rohypnol?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): If he is gay,I promise u that he will come out of the closet.Hang on but dont force him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): You could be putting yourself in a terrible situation if he is homophobic. Straight men can be very cruel if you don't know already. Whatever you do be careful!also, best of luck if he's the guy for you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): Baby, you cant turn him. Its impossible. I think you are ready to come out of the closet and are depending on this guy waaaaaay too much. DONT scare him away. Just be yourself and tell him everything. DONT hide away. Let him know exactly the way it is. Please dont make the same mistake i did. Please dont.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2006): If he is hiding a gay part to him, it should come out at the right time. a lot of boys dont admit homosexuality. take my advice. Im 17 and i had come out of five people. they all came to me, and i havent told them im a bi-sexual. it just kinda happened and we did it.
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reader, willywombat +, writes (13 March 2006):
 You dont. It just doesnt happen that way. You cannot force anybody to behave in a certain way to suit your needs. If he is bi/hom-sexual it will eventually happen with the right person. You may not even be the right person for him.. back off and keep him for a friend.x
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reader, d4u04 +, writes (12 March 2006):
 You can't turn anyone anything, and the more you try the more likely it is that he will end up resenting you for it, if he does develop gay feelings for you then cross that bridge when you come to it but don't try to force it on him, this is from a gay man perspective so take note lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2006): Sorry, but you can't "turn" someone into a homosexual. Are you certain he's straight? If he is, I think you should accept that he is not likely to be into you the way you are into him. I think you should let him know you are gay. The way he responds will give you a world of information about him.
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reader, wookiee's girlfriend +, writes (26 February 2006):
 i think it is slightly selfish to turn a staight guy gay just for you, if he is indeed straight. has he had girlfriends? or any previous homosexual relations? i'd say bring the fact that you're gay into a conversation and maybe he'll get the message and something might happen from there. remember to be aware that his love life comes into the equation too. hope it helps.
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