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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi.... i met a guy the other night, and we got on really well, there was a lot of chemistry between us and we were very very flirty but nothing happened as i had to leave early. We exchanged numbers and now im thinking he's just going to want sex as thats all he's spoken about. I did ask him if that was going to be it and he said we'll see. I know i only met him the other night but I've had it with having fun all the time and dont want to be seen as some easy lay and im now ready for wanting to be seeing someone. But how do i go from seeing him and wanting to sleep with him to seeing him more and without sleeping with him, if that makes sense. Im not a slut, i purely just want a relationship, im 21 and passed all the fun times, he's 23. How can i explain that to him without him going off me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2006): Sweetheart
If he respects you enough to want to be in a relationship with you then he won't mind investing time into you before getting to the sex.
Don't put out as a way to make him feel good about being with you. You'll only regret it and feel horrible about yourself if it doesn't end up working and he splits.
Carry yourself with class and respect and let him see that. Let him see the sides of you you want him to see before sleeping with him and if he's interested then do what you feel is right.
If he's not interested in you cause you won't put out then odds are he's a) not the type of guy you want to be with anyways or b) not interested in you enough for you to get what you want.
Sleeping with him won't solve either of these things and can potentially lead to very bad consequences in terms of how you feel about yourself.
Be strong and I hope things work out for you.
A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (27 January 2006):
 Start with the thought that your body belongs to you, and what you decide to do with it, is your own business. If you want a good, loving relationship with a good person, then you are making the right decision by waiting to have sex. If he is a good man, he will agree with you, and respect your decision. Most of all, he will wait for you when and if you feel ready.
Its a known fact that a guy has more respect for a girl who does not sleep with him on the first date. Take your time and get to know each other. I feel that is a great start in the right direction.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2006): Just be honest with him. If he gets mad at you for this, then this speaks volumes of what kind of person he is. I hope you wouldn't want a partner who's so "shallow."He didn't seem to shy on telling you what he was thinking. I'm sorry but "we'll see" is not a good enough response in my opionion. I sure would'nt jump into bed with this guy if you are suspecting that this is all he may want. Don't give him the opportunity to use you. Tell him you are interested in him, but you are looking for something a little more serious right now. If he doesn't want to agree..then move on hun.Don't be with men who don't know what they want..its nothing but a waste of your time. If he has any kind of future intentions with you he will be around for the long haul. By that I mean he will see you, and only you and make some sort of committment. Don't rush it..get to know him, before jumping into the sack with him! I don't want to see you hurt . You deserve someone who is worthy of you!Good Luck!;)
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