New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225910 questions, 982266 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

How do I tell my wife I am bisexual and want to bring a man and a horse costume into our bedroom?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2009)
A male Norway age 30-35, *umboshrimp writes:

I am a married man looking for some advice on how to break the news to my wife I am a bisexual and that ontop of this I have been attending furry nightclubs.

My wife seems to think they are anime conventions, but in reality they are furry meetings. I have tried to sit my wife down to talk to her about this, but every time I try something always seems to come up and then I lose my nerve.

I would like to tell her that I would like to bring a man and a horse costume into our bedroom, but I just dont know how to break that into a conversation without having her run a country mile.

Any advice?

View related questions: married man

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009):

i also need an education here. what is a fur pile. perhaps the OP can explain what this fetish is all about???? i am curious. first time i heard of this concept.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, Delboy69 United Kingdom +, writes (14 October 2009):

A) Tell the wife

B) Sign the sex offenders register

C) Get laughed at by everyone

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland +, writes (13 October 2009):

heartfullalove agony auntWhat's a fur pile?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009):

Take a deep breath, and blurt it out "Honey, Im bisexual and Im a furry!" At which point she'll probably ask what a furry is, which gives you the chance to explain. Give her a few minutes to let it sink in. But after all: you married her and she married you, so you must love each other deeply and have a strong relationship. Have confidence in the relationship you and your wife share. You should be able to talk about these things just fine.

However, talking and action are two different things. You need to go slow, one thing at a time. Explain to her that you only recently found out you're bi. She might get scared that you have been lying to her/cheating on her, so assure her you have not acted out on anything. Tell her you want her to be a part of your exploring. But also respect it if she does not want to take part in this.

If she does not want to participate, talk to her about boundaries, what she will be okay with you doing etc. However, you might want to break these conversations down and not talk about it all in one day. Take it as it goes, but she might get shocked and need time to think before you continue the conversation.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, jumboshrimp Norway +, writes (13 October 2009):

jumboshrimp is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok, to clarify, I have not and would never cheat on my wife. I am not looking to add someone into my relationship full time. I am sorry, but english is not my first language. I guess I should have worded it differently. My intention I guess would be to suggest a threesome to her, but instead of a woman, as it seems to be the usual norm for men, I would like a man for me. I have only recently accepted I am bisexual and so have never had anything with one other than a few sexual encounters before I married my wife. So naturally I am curious what full sex would be like.

As for my kink, yes it is a kink. A fetish I enjoy greatly. I have never been in a fur pile though, but have been tempted. No one has really given me the advice though I was hoping for which was how to get to breaking the ice and talk to her. I know I have to tell her its how that is the problem. I dont know how to break it to her, have her accept it and hopefully have her join in.

As for the mocking. Its expected with people who dont understand so thank you marieclaire.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009):

call animal control...or PETA. And then take eyes wide opens advice.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (13 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntHi Honey, are pork chops okay for dinner or do you want to go out?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009):

She should run away from all of this drama. Give your head a shake. Geeze.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, LethalInjection-x United Kingdom +, writes (13 October 2009):

LethalInjection-x agony auntIf this is actually serious, (no offence if it is, it's just.. things like this often get made up).. then most women WOULD run a mile.

I personally wouldn't run a mile because you're bisexual, or because of the costume, but for the fact you want to bring a third person into a relationship.

I'm bisexual myself, but being bisexual does NOT mean being with a male and female at the same time, that is cheating. Being bisexual means you find both genders attractive.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "How do I tell my wife I am bisexual and want to bring a man and a horse costume into our bedroom?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046875!