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How do I tell my new partner I want to be tested for STI's?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 25 November 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello, I have recently entered a new relationship after being in a previous relationship lasting roughly a year. My last relationship ended because of lots of trust issues. Anyway I want to go to a sexual health clinic and get tested for STIs. I have only had 2 sexual partners (my previous and current partner) however I would like to be100% that my previous partner was not concealing any Iinfections from me. Although I have not had sex with my previous partner for many months and when we did we always used condoms but I just want to be sure and feel I should tell my new partner I am taking the test. However I am extremely nervous about bringing it up as he may assume I believe I do have one and therefore have slept with him recklessly. I am eextremely torn as I do not want to conceal something that ultimately does concern us both yet I don't know how to explain it without causing him to worry.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 November 2014):

Honeypie agony auntPretty much what SVC said.

It's pure and simple common sense to get tested when having a new sexual partner. And I would frankly NOT date a guy who wasn't willing to get tested.

My husband and I did a full panel (including HIV) before we even had sex. And retested 6 months later again.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (25 November 2014):

chigirl agony auntI do not see why you think you need to talk to him about it? Its a health check... You simply go do it. If you are told you have an STI, then you talk to your bf about it. You dont need to hide that you are going, but there is no need to discuss wanting to go either. Its something you just go and do.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 November 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIt's common sense to have STD testing at the beginning of a new relationship.

Just say "I'm going to get STD tested and I would like you to do it also" It's common courtesy to offer your blood work report to new partners in this day and age.

My personal care physician always insisted on testing every 6 months until my husband and I got married and assured her we were monogamous.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (25 November 2014):

Tell him you want both of you to get tested, as you should have before you had sex anyway.

Getting tested with your new partner isn't something to be ashamed of, it is the responsibile thing to do.

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