A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 yrs old. Me and my bf had sex awhile ago and I just found out im pregnant. A couple ppl know and he knows. I need help on how to tell my mom. Im scared that if I do then she will never trust me ever again and kick me out the house and never love me again. How would I bring up the subject? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx everyone for all the advice I feel secure enough to tell her. Thx again: )
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (1 June 2012):
 HI
The first thing you need to be worring about is your health right now and the babys, have you been to see a Dr ( this is private and confidential) and unless they have your aproval they can not tell your mother. Also I know many will disagree but have you concidered all other avenues i.e Abortion,adoption,foeter care ? I know this may sound a bit harsh but you are just a child yourself, and having a child and raising one are two different things. Its going to be a very hard and long road. That being said Yes your mother will be very dissapointed and upset, no parent wants this for there child, its all very fairytale to think about being a mother and that everything will be happy ever after but in reality its not. This is a lifetime commitment, lots of sleepless nights, struggles, and it dont get any easier as they get older if anything it gets very much harder, As you can tell im not one for sugar coating things I tell it as I see it. But NO she wont stop loving you , a mothers love is unconditional, she will be there for you and advice you If she is a good mother to you already! I think maybe if you have another family member you can confide in it will be easier to explain to your mother together so you have that little more support. do you know how far into the pregnancy you are?.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 June 2012):
 Yeah, she's going to freak out. That's extremely natural, and the news is going to rock her world as much as it's rocking yours. However, unless she's been an abusive monster all of your life and hasn't shown a shred of love towards you, she's not going to toss you out.
However, if she's a loving mom, like you've said, she won't throw you out. That's her grandchild inside you. She's going to freak out, and then she'll help you, love you, and be there for guidance and support. I would do the same for my son, no matter what.
The sooner you tell her, the more time she has to prepare emotionally, physically, and you can prepare too. You need your mom more than ever now.
Best to get it over with. If you're afraid of her immediate reaction, maybe your best friend can be with you when you tell her. I'd advise not your boyfriend, though. At least, not yet.
You also need to think through what your plans are for your baby. Do you want to raise the child or not? Your mom is a great person to help you through that decision process, which I'm guessing might change as you advance in your pregnancy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): Previous answer hit the nail on the head. It's hard to answer without knowing you, your Mom or your backgrounds, but it's safe to say most mothers of a girl your age would be very upset.
I'm old enough to be your Dad, and know plenty of girls of my own generation who lost their virginity very young - and 14 is VERY young. Some of them now have daughters your age, and yet ALL of them would feel sick at the thought of their little girls being sexually active. Parents might seem boring etc., but they really do know better than you as they've lived on this scary planet for far longer.
Don't expect it to be easy. Be apologetic and say something like, "look Mom, I know you'll be disappointed, but I really need you right now and have to tell you something..." Most mothers, when faced with this, would appreciate their daughter opening up to them, as it means the parent-child bond isn't totally lost, and they're still needed and trusted to some extent. Even if it's not exactly what they want to hear, they'd prefer that over a secretive daughter who shuts them out of their lives and confides in their equally young and silly friends instead.
She'll likely go mental but will calm down in due course. Your Mom's superior age and life experiences will be invaluable to you in this difficult situation. Don't rebel against her for the sake of it, take her advice on board and be nice, as you NEED her support, whether you keep your baby or not.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): Unless you have one heck if a tyrant mother, then the last thing to worry about is whether or not she will still love you after you tell her you're pregnant. She will probably be mad, yes, but once she calms down she will step up and show you just how much she loves you by helping/advising you in the most appropriate way possible. I very much doubt she will kick you out, because what sort of an example role model parent would that be showing to her 14yo pregnant daughter? Not a very good one! Should she trust you again for the immediate future? Well no, I wouldn't if you were my daughter, I would be very disappointed but we live and learn because nobody's perfect and hopefully if you learn anything from this experience, its to think thoroughly before you do anything you think you shouldn't in future. Just be upfront with her, the sooner she knows the better, and you don't want her hearing it from someone else.
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A
female
reader, Juicy Lu +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Aww hun just be honest an tell ur mum ur pregnant,I've got a daughter who's 20 an yes ur mum probs will be dissapointed an upset at first which I would of been.love for ur children is unconditional so no matter what ur mum will always love u hope everything goes well xx
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 I have two daughters who are now a bit older than you. When thinking about how I would react if one of them got pregnant, I asked myself what was the worst thing that could happen. Well, the worst is death. After that serious injury or illness. After that lasting emotional trauma. Pregnancy is somewhere down the list. What I'm saying is that when you tell your mom, start by reminding her that there are worse things that could be happening to you.
It's reasonable to expect her to be angry, and certainly disappointed. Things are going to be tense in your home for a while. But if she loves you now, it's not going to change just because you made a mistake. And who knows, she might surprise you and be more supportive than you expect.
Good luck.
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