A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hey, im an 18year old male, and i want to turn into a woman, im just scared of what my family will say and will they disown me thats what im scared about, im always wearing ladies clothes like thongs and bras when family are out, but when they are in i always wear thong under my trackies, they dont know what i think yet, i want the surgery, i dont want to wear the clothes and make up and i want tits and a fanny, i want to be a woman, i would want to do it straight away but cant face telling the family because im scared, can you help me on what to do. Thanks. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, heartfullalove  + ♥, writes (15 October 2009):
 Last poster's right, you'll need a certain amount of start-up cash.
Emily's right too...take it slow, one step at a time. Your coming-out to others will be a gradual process. Walk before you run. Ideally, it would be absolutely brilliant if you have a trustworthy female friend who can give you good advice - on your fashion choices, your make-up, your men. Every tranny should have one!
Step one: go shopping. Choose some nice undies, cute shoes and a party dress. It will seem really scary and intimidating at first, but you'll find most shop-staff will be really sweet, helpful and understanding.
Step two: get dolled up and go hit the nightclubs (easier if you live in a big city). This too will be scary and intimidating at first, but it may also be the most liberating and exciting feeling you've ever had. If you're shy and nervous at first, that's understandable. You don't have to jump the first hot guy you see, but if you want to, you should!
Being dressed completely as a woman will make you feel wonderfully soft, girly and delicate, and it'll probably seem the most natural thing in the world to respond sexually to an attractive man's advances. But of course it's up to you. Only do what feels right and what you're comfortable with. You never know, you might get yourself a gorgeous boyfriend. (Arm yourself with condoms and lubricant, just in case). But BE HONEST with any men you pick up - they need to know you're a tranny before you get sexual, rather than being suddenly confronted with the physical evidence just when things are hotting up nicely. If you have feminine facial features and a slinky figure, they're likely to assume you're a girl. And it can get unpleasant when they discover you're not.
So be careful, and take it slow, but take it. Enjoy the journey, love yourself, and don't feel ashamed. Be proud of who you are!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): Don't tell them. Show them. Organize a night out for you and them. Take them to a bar with other trannies and sneak into the bathroom to "transform." This is best way to do it.
I did a few years ago and now after the initial shock and discomfort they have come to accept me for who I want to be.
If you start dating, just make sure the guy knows that you have are part of a "package" deal. Don't wait until you're in the heat of the moment, like I did, for him to stumble on your droopy-dangler and side cars. That might get ugly for you. Just be honest with him from the beginning. If he really loves you he will stay with you package or no package.
If you do go for the full operation, make sure you know that there can be negative results. My first operation, the snake catcher really botched my sausage removal and left me with a nasty mess that wouldn't fool even the most dead drunken sailor at 3AM in the morning after 3 months at sea.
In the end, you get what you pay for. So come prepared with loads of cash.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers + ♥, writes (15 October 2009):
This kind of thing is VERY VERY hard for parents to understand.
Every parent wants their kid to grow up and be normal and produce grandchildren with a nice girl.
Be honest, you would want the same for your son too. So if you tell them this, they will think they've done a bad job and failed as parents.
That is stupid and wrong, but it's a big possibility.
If you are going to be a woman, then will you date men?
You may want to tell them you are gay first, ease them into it. There is a good chance they will have noticed you were not the same as the other boys, I doubt this feeling just came up over night.
I think you have to lay foundations first. Grown your hair, be a little more feminine with them, introduce nicer clothes into your wardrobe.
If they see you in trackies all the time and then you switch to a pink dress it's going to be a big shock. So you need to prepare them for it over time.
I'm not saying you are wrong in this, some people are just born in the wrong bodies, that is NOT YOUR FAULT, but it'll still be hard for your parents to understand all in one go so take little steps with them.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, heartfullalove + ♥, writes (15 October 2009):
Huge decision. Are you certain?
I have looked into this process (purely out of research)...it will take years, involve invasive surgery, psychiatric evaluation by various trained professionals, and an enormous, profound, fundamental life change.
You were born male, as opposed to female. In the same way that you were born in the UK, with blond or red or dark hair, blue or brown or green eyes, born to royalty or in a high-rise council flat, born in perfect health or with congenital medical ailments...born as the fates had it. Life deals us all a certain hand, and it's up to us to make the best of what we're bequeathed.
I'm initimately aware of the immense soul-searching caused by gender identity confusion. Many people face it, every day. Some suppress it completely (rarely without trauma), some choose to tackle it head-on. Many opt to live as full-time trannies. Many of us, having taken all the issues into careful consideration, opt to live as part-time trannies.
It all cuts to the fundamental point: if you feel like a woman, but were born with male anatomy, are you female? Or male? Or both? I can see validity in all sides of the argument.
I'm wary of sounding as if I have any magical solution - and my experience may be entirely different from yours - so all I can do is outline my own circumstances. I'm a year older than you, and have found immense personal fulfilment and contentment from wearing the clothes, living what's undeniably a double life (smart male attire for work during the day, vamp extraordinaire by night or out on the town), seducing men when the need overwhelms, and generally living as a female to a very significant extent.
The feeling of personal victory I've derived from all this over the last 18 months has been so fantastically liberating that, basically, it's GOOD ENOUGH. I don't feel any temptation to have 'the operation' and right now, I don't think I'll ever contemplate it.
In other words, a purist could argue that I'm a 'cop-out' tranny, happy to live this way but NO WAY am I getting rid of the penis. It's part of me, and I'm no more keen to get rid of it than I'd want to lose my eyes or teeth. (Also, I reserve the right to have sex with women, have recently done so, and liked it)
You may feel far more strongly about it, deeply female on every level, inherently unable to enjoy life within your male form, in which case I cherish your right to explore the option of a full sex change. I just think that you could be jumping the gun, and may find that you don't need to go THAT far to enjoy the sensations of feeling very female. You want tits - you can get a pair fairly cheaply. A 'fanny' - not so easy, I admit. Perfumes, make-up, lingerie, outerwear...all available as soon as you have the balls (sorry!) to flounce into the relevant shops and buy them. Men...they're everywhere!
Attaining a few of these things may be enough to satisfy your feminine identity, without need of drastic action of the sort you're considering.
So my short-term advice is to move out, take it one step at a time, see how much happier you feel, and don't feel in any rush to tell your family anything. (Moving out may not be instantly within your realistic power - much depends on your financial situation, and I know it's annoying to be casually told that such-and-such a solution is available but unaffordable to you personally.)
I wish you every success and I hope you'll keep us posted. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  + ♥, writes (15 October 2009):
Before you have surgery, I think the doctors typically have you evaluated and talk to you to make sure you're psychologically stable. I think it may be helpful if you went ahead and did that first just to prove that everything is okay--then you can tell your family. That way you have some evidence to backup your decision if anyone disagrees.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): Easy - "Mum/Dad" I want to be a woman and I am looking at going in for surgery to get a real fanny and some big tits.
Yep and be prepared to move out.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (15 October 2009):
 Well, you are old enough to move out. That would be your first step in becoming who you wish to be. Becoming independent and emancipated and standing on your own two feet is always a good way to prove to your parents that you can make your own decisions and take care of yourself. That would be a logical first step in them accepting any decisions that you make.
...............................
|
