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How do I tell my family about this unconventional relationship I have with someone I haven't officially met?

Tagged as: Family, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 February 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2016)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I recently just entered an "unconventional" relationship with someone "Mika" I knew for about a year now. We met through my best friend "Jay". Jay and I met pretty much online, we met in person roughly a year or so into our friendship. Online, he introduced me to Mika (about a year or so), which Mika had a fiance, so we never spoke about any relationship of that sort and what not. Anyway, let me get to the point. After New Years, we started talking and then on the 25th, we made it official. But, I've never actually met him. We've Skyped with one another, so I know he's real, and we have plans to meet up in the future (he actually mentioned that he was willing to me here). He live's in the MST and I live in the EST which is quite a distance. I like him quite a lot, the problem is my family.They aren't understanding at all and I know they'll ask a ton of questions. How do I tell them about my relationship since we've never officially met? When is a good time to tell anyone about our relationship?

View related questions: best friend, fiance

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 February 2016):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe meet him first? Which would mean he can't stay at your place yet (which I wouldn't recommend anyways) Having chatted for a whole year is great, but there is a BIG difference from someone's online persona to their real persona and clicking online is not that hard, in person? Can be.

I know many people get an almost high from online relationships, it feels great to care for someone and have someone care for you - the problem starts when reality sets in. Like WiseOwlE says, a "techno relationship" is EASY but not as fulfilling as a real one.

Who knows if you two HAVE the opportunity to met up regularly and at some point make it a NON LDR it might work, but that is jumping ahead.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2016):

If you've never actually met; you're only friends.

A real and established relationship has to be built from many levels. Yes, it is true people conduct romances through devices. There is an extreme difference between a lover and a pen-pal.

You share space and stimulate all the senses with a lover, but you keep in-touch with a digital device-connected pen-pal. Exchanging glances through screens is no comparison to real-time eye-contact.

You may call it an unconventional-relationship; but it really isn't real until you are together and exchanging the normal interactive pleasures of love.

Sorry, there's no substitute!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Honeypie, he broke up with his fiance due to her cheating with someone else in September.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 February 2016):

Honeypie agony auntSo he still has a fiance?

Having met someone online is not so uncommon anymore, but dating someone you haven't met might seem a little, well premature. And if that someone has a fiance... where is the future for you and him? (as in there is none).

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (3 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIt won't go down to well with your family. A lot of people do not understand meeting people on the internet and they feel that it is dangerous. Do you really need to tell your family yet? Maybe you should wait until you guys meet and make sure there is a spark between you both before you tell everyone. I can understand that you have feelings for him, and that's great, but it is also possible that there might not be a spark when you guys meet. So if it was me I would wait telling everyone until I knew for sure that the relationship was going somewhere. At least when you do finally tell everyone you have met him and they will be more supportive and less worried.

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